shoes and pulled off Mr. Griffinâs pants and held my bundle to my chest. As I started wading, the water was so cold it bit and burned. My feet ached as I stepped over rocks into deeper water. The river smelled of mud and sour leaves, but it smelled clean compared to the hogpen.
The glow in the clouds glistened on the rippling water. The river dimpled and swooped over rocks. I was about halfway across when I stepped into a deeper place and the water came up to my groin. The river pushed me and I almost fell. The cold water stung where I was so sore. I braced myself and took short steps. Water splashed up on my bundle, on myface. I worked my way step by step over the rocks to the mud of the western bank.
I didnât have a lantern and I didnât even have a flint for starting a fire. I was only sixteen and Iâd never been across the river. It was October and getting cold. I dried myself off with the pants and put them on and pulled the shoes on.
Josie, you are lost, I said. You are plumb lost in the dark woods. I knew there were wolves and panthers in the mountains, in the woods to the west. I knew there were bears and rattlesnakes, though the snakes quit crawling after the first frost. I had Mr. Griffinâs coat to keep me warm, but I needed a roof over me and a wall to keep out wind. I needed a scrap of fire to warm by.
The river slurped and whispered. I wasnât hungry. I was too tired to be hungry. But I would be hungry the next day. The little handkerchief of coins wasnât worth anything in the woods.
A shooting star flung off sparks above me and I shivered, wondering if it was a portent for me. I saw Mr. Griffin lying in the yard with his head mashed in.
I looked for the trail up the bank of the river. I picked my way around a birch tree and some hazelnut trees. It looked like there was a kind of trail. But was it just a rabbit trail or a deer trail? There were settlements on the west side of the river, but I didnât know where they were. I knew Gilbert Town was farther west. I climbed up to the level ground and looked around.
In the dim light I saw a steep hill way off and some tall trees against the sky. A bird screeched in the woods not too far off. When youâre confused itâs better to go slow and calm yourself, I told myself. Maybe if I thought hard and was careful Iâd see what to do.
As I climbed up the hill trying to find the trail, it got so dark I couldnât see my feet. Limbs slapped my face and briars raked my pants legs. I strained to see what was ahead, looking right into the shadows. When I looked sideways out of the corner of my eyes I could see a little better.I could at least see the dim shapes of trees and avoid hitting them. I turned my head and stepped to the side, then stopped and listened. But all I heard was a bird squawking down toward the river. There was no light except a few stars.
Stumbling and feeling my way between limbs and bushes, I climbed till it felt like I was on level ground. But there was no light of window or campfire in sight in any direction. I took a few more steps and turned around, and wasnât even sure where the river was anymore. The dark looked the same on every side.
I held out my hands and touched a big limb. Following the limb I came to a big tree that felt like an oak. The tree was wide as a wall and the ground under it was thick with leaves. I thought I would sit down and lean against the tree for a while and think about what I could do.
Wrapping Mr. Griffinâs coat tight around me, I pushed myself against the big oak so it could protect me from the damp breeze. The tree was like a big friend comforting me in the dark, with its roots deep in the hill and the limbs high above. A current seemed to be flowing in the tree and from the tree. It was rooted deep in its place and was calm. I wanted to be calm and certain as the tree.
I thought of Mama alone in the house with her mind so confused and troubled. And I
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