Breaking the Silence by Diane Chamberlain Read Free Book Online Page A

favored women. But I didn’t think she had…negative feelings about men.”
    Heather shifted in her seat, ponytail bouncing, and Laura thought she knew why Emma liked the therapist: Heather probably reminded her of her Barbie dolls.
    “You haven’t told me much about Emma’s relationship with her dad,” Heather said. “With Ray.”
    Laura wondered where to begin. “Emma was not Ray’s natural child,” she said.
    “Oh.” Heather jotted something down on her notepad.
    “No. I had a brief relationship with another man and Emma was conceived. It was a shock to me, the pregnancy. I wasn’t—” she tried to find the words “—I wasn’t the brief relationship type. Or even the long-and-enduring relationship type.” She smiled at Heather. “I’m an astronomer. That is—was—my life. I never felt I had the time for relationships. And I was thirty-four. Old enough to know better. But anyway, I was pregnant.” She had the feeling she was giving Heather far more information than had been requested. “Ray and I were close friends, but nothing more than that. Yet he was always a very caring person. He was much older than me, and he was sort of part father, part brother, part friend. I was very upset about the pregnancy. I’d never thought I’d have children, but I knew I didn’t want an abortion. Still, I wasn’t married. So Ray offered to marry me. I accepted. I loved him very much. But we never had what you’d think of as a typical marriage. We were more friends than lovers.” She and Ray had made love perhaps twenty times in the six years of their marriage. She had wanted more, but Ray’s antidepressant medication killed any libido he might have possessed, and she was careful neverto press him or make him feel inadequate. He was a good husband and he treated Emma as though she were his own, and Laura could usually make herself be satisfied with that.
    “What was his relationship like with Emma?” Heather asked, and Laura remembered that was the original question.
    “Well, there was never any doubt that he was her father. He was a wonderful father to her.”
    “Give me some examples.”
    “Well, he’d read her stories at night. He’d…he liked to drive her around the streets of Washington to educate her on the problems of the homeless.”
    Heather’s eyes were wide and disbelieving, and Laura laughed. “He was one of a kind,” she said.
    “Yeah, I can see that,” Heather said. “So what else did he do with her?”
    “Well…” Laura searched her memory, finally shaking her head in defeat. “I can’t think of other specific examples. But he loved her. I don’t think he would have treated her any differently if she’d been his own flesh and blood.”
    “Did he take her places—other than the streets of D.C.? Play games with her? Teach her to ride a big wheeler?”
    “No. Not those things, specifically. But he…” She gave up in frustration. “Sorry. My mind is a blank.”
    “You know…” Heather’s voice was gentle. “We all have a tendency to idealize our loved ones who’ve died.”
    “He married me,” Laura said. “He took Emma on and gave her a father. He didn’t have to do that.” She had to admit that Ray had never given Emma much of his attention, and when he did, it was with his own agenda in mind. He would occasionally read to her, but the books he’d select were about little homeless children. She couldn’t bring herself to share that fact with Heather, though.
    “Any chance there might have been some molestation going on?” Heather asked.
    “No!”
    “I need to ask,” Heather said with a hint of apology. “I didn’t pick up on anything, but we need to rule that out.”
    “No. Ray was not a very…sexual person. He was wrapped up in social issues, as you can tell. On every committee for social change you can imagine. He worked with the homeless. He was as driven in that as I am in astronomy. And he suffered from depression, obviously. That’s what led