Brisé by Leigh Ann Lunsford, Chelsea Kuhel Read Free Book Online Page A

words aren’t registering, “Phoebe, they are gone. Your parents are gone.”

Chapter 7
    Luke
     
    I watch her go off to her senior prom, and I vividly remember our argument two years ago. I never fully understood her feelings until tonight when I saw her and realized that another monumental event in our life was happening, and we weren’t sharing it. I’m at my wit’s end with this self-imposed separation. I thought it would be easier on both of us if we didn’t use each other as a crutch and we fully moved on to experience life. I wasn’t doing that per se, but I have to focus on my classes. They’re kicking my ass, and when you are paying for them, it’s hard to get the professors to care. Either way, they have your money … pass or fail. In college it isn’t up to your teacher to mentor you or help you learn, as an adult that is solely up to you. It’s fucking hard, and I have to put everything I have into it. I hate to say it, but worrying about Phoebe is a distraction I can’t afford. In hind sight, I see she wasn’t a distraction and I could’ve gone to her, leaned on her, but I’m supposed to be the strong one. I don’t think it’s fair for her to take on my burdens when I pushed her to spread her wings.
    Seeing her audition last week killed me. It almost made me cave right there on the spot, but watching her dance made my resolve that much stronger. She has the talent to go far, and seeing the audience’s reactions to her solo was not a surprise. Everyone was rendered speechless, including the other dancers. She has a gift, and I swear if she doesn’t pursue it, she’s wasting it. I made up my mind and told my parents I wanted to go for my MBA. My two years would be complete this semester, and I would have my business management degree, after taking a light first semester but doubling my course load during summer and a few online classes. Once I got the hang of it, I could focus only on classes and it became easier. I wanted to be able to provide for us and let her dance; I can’t do real estate in New York or wherever we go without connections. It will be a struggle, and I’ll have a lot more coursework, but I will do it.
    I have enjoyed the normal college parties, but most of my free time has been spent studying and trying to keep my head above water with my course load. Lisa was never intended to be a long-term relationship, but she was a warm body. Neither of us had expectations for our relationship. We enjoyed dates, parties, and sex. She was going off to med school and knew my heart belonged elsewhere. It was easy with us, no expectations and no promises. We were exclusive, but that was by default, we were both to busy to look elsewhere. I hated Phoebe and my mom thinking it was something more. I had met some cool guys, but our college experiences were different. Our lives were different. Phoebe’s cancer made me grow up fast, and I don’t begrudge her for it. Most of the guys at school are worried about where the next party or pair of open legs is, but seeing life and death at such a young age, made me better prepared for my future. I had one goal in my life . . . spend it with Phoebe.
    Not everything was about her. I enjoyed other people, but she was always in the back of my mind. I hoped she was enjoying school, dance, and learning to become a bit more independent. Football days were the best, the entire school was like one big family, coming together and cheering our team on. It was those days I loved, then immediately felt guilty because I hadn’t thought of her, or missed her enough that day. I needed to remind myself I needed to do the same thing I wanted of her . . . to live life. Gain new experiences and grow up outside of each other.
    Tonight validated my feelings. Seeing her made my heart speed up and my dick harden. She’s only gotten more beautiful with each year that has passed, and it kills me she’s so guarded. I’m going to rekindle what I threw away and revive