going to break out in her own cheer at one point, but when she collapsed in her lawn chair, I sighed in relief. I didn’t know if I would’ve cheered with her or hid from embarrassment.
Ben had gone to see some of his friends, but he returned for the last few innings and took the seat beside Marissa. When Justin’s team won 17 to 5, no one was surprised. Jesse had been on the team. We picked up our lawn chairs and waited to find out where the next game would prevail.
Close to midnight, I returned to the concessions stand. The line had tripled since we first arrived.
“Well, hello, Jesse’s slut!”
I froze for a split second, but turned. Casey Wright gave me a smug smirk as she stood with her friends behind her. All of them had their platinum blonde hair up in braids or styled to look cute as they wore baseball caps. And, of course, they wore tee shirts tied underneath their breasts and low-riding jeans.
When I saw her shirt had Jesse’s number, I took a breath. What was going to happen here?
Eric had popped his head out of the concession stand when he saw me, but now he faltered. I knew he had heard her.
“What do you want, Casey?”
She snorted in disbelief. “Are you kidding me? Leave Jesse alone.”
I sighed. When would she learn? “He’s going away, Casey. You have no shot.”
“And you do?”
“I never said I did.”
She snorted again and flipped her platinum blonde hair over her shoulder. Some of it trailed out from the back of her cap. Her emerald eyes were disgusted. “Are you kidding me, Alex? I told you what would happen if you got me as an enemy.”
“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” Angie surged forward from behind me. Her hands found her hips and her lips were in a snarl. Marissa was right next to her, complete with her pigtails. Both of them looked fierce.
Casey eyed them wearily. “Really? The three of you against me?”
Marissa snorted. “Do you really think you’re all that? You’re second line, Casey. Get behind us.”
Her eyes snapped in irritation. “I am not second line. How dare you say that?!”
Marissa’s tiny body was tense and she looked ready to hurl herself at the girl, but she threw her chin forward. Her arms crossed over her chest and she glared. The loathing in her eyes sent me backwards a step. Then she growled. “Are you effing kidding me? You’re always second line. You got second line in cheerleading. You’re in the honors class, not the highest honors. You get Bs when I get As. I get the captains and you’re lucky to get a starter. Do I need to keep going?” She threw her arms wide. “You’re second best, Casey. You always will be. Just get used to it and settle back. Shut the hell up, bitch.”
It was at that time that I grew tired of the conversation. Confrontations happened all the time, but it didn’t matter. They had stopped mattering when I lost my brother. It might’ve sounded cliché, but I no longer cared. It was all stupid and senseless.
I edged towards the end of the crowd that had formed and slipped around the corner. I flattened myself against the side of the concessions building and took a few deep breaths. None of it mattered. Nothing. There was more to life. I took a few more deep breaths and tried to calm myself down, but why were my hands still shaking? Why was my breathing so labored? Maybe it did matter?
“Hey.”
I calmed instantly and
Learning to Kill: Stories