Buddha Da by Anne Donovan Read Free Book Online

mind aboot the colour scheme. See, she’d wanted the lounge painted champagne, tae match her Versace troosers.
    ‘You are jokin.’
    ‘Ah’m no, honest. They were leather, skin-tight, you should of seen wee Boabby’s face when she came intae the room in them, ah thought he’d need resuscitated.’
    ‘Some folk have got mair money than sense.’
    ‘Nae skin aff our noses. At least we’re gettin some of it. Anyway that wasnae whit caused the hassle.’
    ‘Naw?’
    ‘We got the shade matched and painted the room and it was lookin fine and we’d just started on the joe loss when her highness changed her mind. She’d got fed up wi they troosers, she’d bought a new pair and could we paint the room lilac noo?’
    ‘Whit!’
    ‘Ah’m no kiddin. It was the boyfriend tellt us, brung the troosers in hissel so we could match the exact shade. She was too busy. It was that important it looked right for a big party they were havin at the weekend.
    ‘“You know whit women are,” he says.
    ‘“Oh aye,” says Boabby. “Ma missus is just the same. Gets the kitchenette redecorated every time she gets a wee top oot What Evries.”’
    ‘You’re havin me on, Jimmy.’
    ‘Did you no see their kitchenette efter Irene got they leopardskin breeks – it took Boabby days tae get that spotty paint.’
    She started tae giggle and dug me in the ribs.
    ‘Hey, that was sore …’
    ‘Sorry. Naw … ah mean, you know … the girlfriend gettin the livin room painted lilac.’
    ‘Are you tellin me if ah had that kindy money you widnae be gettin the hoose repainted tae match yer gear?’
    ‘If you’d that kindy money Jimmy, ah think you’d have wanny the Spice Girls fur a wife, no me.’
    ‘That’ll be the day.’
    ‘The money, or the glammy wife?’
    ‘Ah think you’re glammy enough for me. Anyhow they Spice Girls are auld hat. Ah’d need tae get Britney.’
    ‘Britt Ekland’s mair your age. Anyway, if we were that rich, ah wouldnae want a hoose. Ah think ah’d just live out of doors on some desert island … wouldnae wear any claes, just wanny they sarong things, silk, wrapped round me …’
    ‘Oh, stop it, stop it,’ ah started writhin aboot in the bed. ‘Ah’ve spilled ma wine … aw, fuck me!’
    ‘Whit – again?’
       
    Ah was that relieved things were back tae normal between me and Liz that the retreat went clean oot ma mind, but on the Tuesday when ah went tae the Centre it all came back tae me. Every week the Rinpoche gied a wee talk then led us through a meditation. After that we’d have a cuppa tea, sit roond and blether. We could ask questions or discuss anythin tae dae wi oor practice and that was a good timetae have a word on the QT if ye wanted tae say anythin personal.
    Anyhow, it was when we were daein the meditation ah started tae think aboot how different it was here fae when ah was on retreat. As soon as ah heard the Rinpoche’s voice it semed tae get me calmed doon and followin ma breathin. Ah could dae it. Felt at hame. Efterwards ah wanted tae ask him about it but couldnae say in fronty the rest. Somehow, though, it was as if he knew. He turned tae me and said, ‘So, Jimmy, how was your retreat?’
    ‘Kind of haurd gaun, Rinpoche – too many carrots.’
    Everybuddy laughed.
    ‘So you are taking the orange way to enlightenment – the future is bright.’
    ‘Sumpn like that.’
    He didnae say anythin else, just kept lookin at me, smilin. They were all waitin for me tae answer. Ah looked round their faces and back tae the Rinpoche.
    ‘It was the meditation. It was that haurd. Ah was wonderin …’
    He kept lookin at me.
    ‘Wonderin how come ah can dae it here – ah don’t mean it’s easy or that, just ah feel ah’m gettin somewhere – but there, it was terrible. Ah could hardly sit still, ma mind was birlin. In the end ah just sat and listened tae the rain on the roof.’
    ‘Tell me, Jimmy, what were you doing when you were listening to the rain?’
    ‘Ah wisnae daein