Bull's Eye by Sarah N. Harvey Read Free Book Online Page A

going to therapy?
    My caseworker is a guy named Jeff with a very heavy Scottish accent.
    â€œYour mother and I have decided that this case requires a public apology, Emily,” he says. He sounds like a character from
Brigadoon
. Apparently I’m to stand up at a school assembly and tell everyone I’m sorry I painted bull’s-eyes on the school.
    â€œShe’s not my mother,” I say.
    Jeff raises an eyebrow at Sandra. She shrugs as if to say,
What did I tell you?
    â€œCouldn’t I just write a letter?” I plead. The thought of apologizing in front of the whole school is terrifying. I’d honestly prefer a cell with an open toilet.
    Jeff ignores me and continues. “You can do it any time in the next two weeks. Just let me know so I can be there. You also have to paint out your, uh, artwork and choose your community service from this list.” He shoves a piece of paper across the desk.
    I shut my eyes, circle my finger in the air three times—Emily, Donna, Michael—and bring it down on the paper. Bull’s-eye.
    I open my eyes and see that my finger has landed on the words
Faircrest After-School Program—Cleanup
next to a name and a number. I hand the paper back to Jeff, who says, “Faircrest? Good choice.”
    I stop listening as Sandra and Jeff bond over the details of my community service and “our” therapy. My thoughts are tumbling in my head like socks in a hot dryer. Everyone will laugh at me. I won’t have any friends. The kids at the day care will hate me. I won’t graduate. I’ll get kicked out of my house. I’ll end up on the street. I’ll start drinking and I’ll get depressed. In other words, I’ll turn into my mother. My crazy biological mother. Tears well up in my eyes and start to trickle down my cheeks. I feel a hand on my shoulder and Sandra’s voice says, “Come on, Emily. We’re done for today.”
    She takes my hand and leads me out of Jeff’s office. By the time we get to the car I am doubled over, sobbing uncontrollably. Snot is streaming out of my nose and into my mouth, which is open in a wail. Sandraprops me against the car and takes me in her arms, stroking my hair and singing into my ear, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” She’s as crazy as her sister.
    I decide to get the apology out of the way, since it’s the thing I’m most worried about. I can’t stand feeling sick to my stomach all the time, even though the weight loss that goes along with it is kind of cool. There’s a regular assembly every second Wednesday, so I let the principal know that I need a few minutes to make an important announcement. She doesn’t ask what it’s about, so I assume she already knows. Probably the whole school knows. I only hang out with Jared and Christa now anyway—all my old friends are keeping their distance, maybe because I never return their calls.
    On Wednesday I throw up three times before the assembly—or, to be more accurate, I retch three times, since there’s no food in my stomach. When Ms. Appleton calls me out onto the stage, Ican see Sandra and Jeff in the front row beside Richard and Chris. They are all smiling encouragingly, as if I’m about to play a violin solo or give a speech about helping the homeless. A little farther back, a tiny hand waves and I see Christa and Jared, who never come to assemblies. I feel weirdly honored.
    I clear my throat and say, “My name is Emily Bell. I painted bull’s-eyes on the back wall of the school and I’m very sorry.” That’s all I mean to say, but my mouth starts to move again. “I’m also going for therapy and doing community service and painting over the bull’s-eyes. I know there’s lots of rumors flying around, so here’s the truth: I’m not going to jail and I’m not quitting school and I’m sorry if I hurt anybody.”
    I look down