Bumageddon: The Final Pongflict by Andy Griffiths Read Free Book Online Page B

reinforced steel cheeks. Turbo-assisted jet repulsion units. Nuclear wart-head equipped. Matter transport assisted entry and exit. Inside and outside voice options. Onboard tea- and coffee-making facilities. And I am self-wiping!’
    â€˜Spare us the details,’ said Eleanor. ‘Just run!’
    â€˜Unable to run,’ said Robobum. ‘Currently performing damage assessment.’
    â€˜No time for that now!’ said Ned. ‘Move!’
    But it was already too late.
    Zack stared, transfixed and sickened, as the tyrannosore-arse cheek-butted Robobum and sent her flying through the bumnut-tree forest.
    Zack, Eleanor, Ned and Zack’s bum were thrown violently from one side of Robobum to the other. They landed heavily on top of each other as Robobum came to rest wedged between two bumnut trees.
    â€˜Do you think it’s finished with us?’ said Zack.
    There was another howl and then the ground started to shake again.
    â€˜I suspect it’s only just begun,’ said Ned, looking up from his guidebook. ‘It says here that the tyrannosore-arse likes to play with its food . . . before eating it.’
    Through the upside-down bumcam of Robobum, they could see the tyrannosore-arse crashing towards them again.
    â€˜If this is playing then I’d hate to see it when it gets serious,’ said Zack’s bum.
    â€˜Me too,’ said Eleanor. ‘Switch to manual control, Ned!’
    â€˜Good idea,’ said Ned.
    â€˜Bad idea!’ said Robobum. ‘Strongly recom—’
    Robobum’s voice was shut off mid-sentence as Ned pulled down on a lever.
    â€˜Done,’ said Ned.
    â€˜Then what are we waiting for?’ said Eleanor. ‘Go!’
    â€˜I’m trying,’ said Ned, ‘but we’re wedged between the trees!’
    â€˜Hurry!’ said Zack, watching as the enraged tyrannosore-arse opened its cheeks again and clamped them down hard over the top of Robobum.

    Everything went dark for a second and then they felt Robobum being lifted free of the trees.
    â€˜That’s got it!’ said Ned.
    Suddenly the room was filled with light as the tyrannosore-arse hurled Robobum through the air once more.
    This time, however, Ned was able to activate Robobum’s ‘flight’ program and they hit the forest floor running.
    â€˜Good going, Ned,’ said Eleanor as Robobum dodged bumnut trees and leapt over rivers and bogs.
    â€˜It’s still chasing us!’ said Zack, listening to the loud, outraged howls close behind them.
    â€˜Relax!’ said Ned. ‘This is just a walk in the park for Robobum. Wait till I really get this baby going.’
    â€˜I wouldn’t do that if I were you,’ said Eleanor, placing her hand on Ned’s to stop him opening the throttle.
    â€˜Why not?’ he said.
    â€˜Look,’ said Eleanor, her eyes wide.

CHAPTER 27
RUN!
    D irectly in front of Robobum was another tyrannosore-arse, even bigger than the one chasingthem. And not only was it bigger, it was redder. And louder. It pawed the forest floor angrily, howled and charged towards them.
    Ned didn’t hesitate.
    He pushed the emergency stop button, sending them all piling towards the bumcam screens.
    â€˜What do we do now?’ said Eleanor.
    â€˜I don’t know,’ said Ned.
    â€˜Ned, I think it’s time to put Robobum back in control of herself,’ said Zack. ‘Maybe she will have had time to figure out what to do.’
    â€˜Can’t hurt,’ said Ned, throwing the switch back to automatic.
    â€˜Hello, I am Robobum,’ said Robobum, crackling back to life. ‘Fully riveted reinforced steel cheeks. Turbo-assisted jet repulsion units. Nuclear wart-head equipped. Matter transport assisted entry and exit. Inside and outside voice options. Onboard tea- and coffee-making facilities. And I am self-wiping!’
    â€˜Robobum!’ said Ned. ‘I know! I built you, remember? It’s