Butterflies in Heat by Darwin Porter Read Free Book Online

floodgates would open. Every drifter who comes to town would know me for an easy mark."
    "I didn't know that."
    "It's true." She settled back in her chair. Her voice was sounding desperate, even to herself. "When I first came back here, I was besieged by people wanting favors, usually money. You can't cast your gems before beggars on the street. I've had to pretend they don't exist. Otherwise, my philanthropic instincts would take over and destroy me."
    "I hope you can help me get started."
    "Why should I?" she asked. She was suddenly feeling pressure from him, and was sorry she'd ever invited him here. "No one ever helped me get anything ... ever."
    "Because I need help."
    "What could you possibly offer me in exchange?" she asked.
    "Companionship."
    "That is condescending."
    "I didn't mean it that way."
    "I'm not embarrassed to be lonely." There, she'd said it and felt better for it. To be really strong, one had to admit certain weaknesses.
    "I'm not either," he said quickly, "and I've been lonely all my life."
    She eyed him as if he were a rock just fallen from the sky. The subject was dangerous, and she'd have to change it quickly. 'Why don't you move closer to the light? It does interesting things to your face."
    "No one ever told me that."
    "Your face is a mask," she went on. "Masks always reveal more than they hide. It's as if you had taken your face, gone out and exposed it to the wind. The wind blew too hard and stung you. So, you rushed back and found the mask."
    "Don't we all do that?"
    "Of course," she said. "But the mask won't keep the wind from biting you again."
    "No," he said, "but it'll help. I'd feel really naked without it. " He shifted in the armchair, crossed his legs, then uncrossed them. "Do you mind if I have one of your cigarettes? Marijuana, isn't it?"
    She moved her hand through the air like a swan lifting its wing. "Yes, it is," she said. "Take one of the blue ones. Blue is your color."
    He laughed. "You don't know me well enough to know my color."
    "You're wrong! I know you very well. Most of the night I spent thinking about you." An obvious lie, she knew, but she liked the sound of the words.
    He inhaled the smoke. Choking, he put the cigarette down. "You were a surprise when I met you. Totally out of place in this rundown town. When you arrive on the scene, people sit up and take notice."
    "That wasn't always so," she said, her interest rising.
    "I mean, you're really stunning looking." He was saying this not only because he believed it; but because he knew she wanted to hear it.
    "I wasn't always," she said. "When I was just a girl, braces covered my teeth, and, worse, I started to grow tall and gangly."
    "You certainly turned your tallness into an asset," he said. "Tall women are just great."
    "But children, especially one Ruthie Elvina, used to make fun of me. They even called me 'the ugly duckling'."
    "They called me a lot of things, too, but that's gone now."
    "Not for me it isn't. I still haven't forgiven them."
    "But you became glamorous," he said. "What does it matter now what some kids thought a long time ago?"
    "Showing them, especially Ruthie Elvina, what I really was has been one of the most important goals of my life. I knew I would one day rise above them. Even then, I knew."
    "So, you got back at them." He wanted to change the subject, but there was a sudden fierceness and determination in her eyes. He knew she wouldn't let go.
    "I knew," she said, raising her voice. "That's why I was able to take their abuse. That doesn't mean I didn't have my heart broken time and time again. Now my poor heart has so many scars I can't feel with it sometimes. I want to. But a lifetime of betrayals has left me immune."
    "Is that why you can't accept me?"
    "I want to. You intrigue me. But I'm afraid of you at the same time. You're a self-admitted hustler. I know you're out to get something from me."
    "Whatever I take from people, I give them something in return."
    "I wish I could believe that. Are