Butterfly by Elle Harper Read Free Book Online Page A

a panic attack that lets you
know you’re safe.’
    Like your eyes?
    I blush as the thought pops into
my brain. I haven’t been able to get those eyes out of my head. I
want him to stop looking at me, but at the same time, I don’t want
him to stop. ‘OK, I’ll try that.’
    ‘Have you tried meditating
before?’
    ‘No.’ I look at him then, even
though I’m trying so hard not to.
    ‘Well, that’s good for panic
attacks, too.’
    ‘So what do I need to do
exactly?’ I can’t believe I’m talking with him about this. I
haven’t spoken to anyone before, but I want to know what he knows.
I want to know how to get better.
    ‘I can show you if you
like.’
    ‘No!’ It comes out louder than I
intend. ‘No,’ I say again, softly this time. ‘Can you just explain
it to me?’
    He smiles. ‘Sure. Just find a
comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. Then just
breathe in and out deeply. Close your eyes and just focus on the
breath. You can repeat a word or a mantra if you feel too fidgety,
or do the counting like I said.’
    ‘What sort of a word?’
    ‘Anything that makes you feel
calm.’ His gaze drifts up to the ceiling as he thinks. ‘Like,
“breathe” or “relax” or “I am fine”.’
    ‘OK. How long should I do it
for?’
    His gaze is back on me now. ‘I’d
start off with around three minutes a day if you can manage it,
then try and increase it. People who meditate daily are a lot more
relaxed and able to handle the stresses of life easier. And, of
course, if you’re in the middle of an attack, try and ground
yourself with something and do the same breathing.’
    ‘Thanks.’
    ‘No problem.’ He pulls a piece
of paper out of his front pocket and reaches for a pen on the
worktop. ‘If you have another attack and you want to talk, just
phone me, OK?’ He scribbles down his number and hands over the
piece of paper.
    I look at the piece of paper,
and before I know what I’m doing, I take it and stuff it in the
pocket of my trousers. ‘Thanks.’
    ‘Honestly, please call if I can
help. Maybe I can talk you through it. Any time, it doesn’t
matter.’
    As he smiles and his eyes light
up, crinkling around the edges, my whole body floods with warmth,
and the tension in my shoulders releases its grip. Some kind of
strange connection that I can’t explain is passing between us, and
I find myself smiling back.
    This time it’s definitely not
fake.

10
     
    BEN
     
    It’s a start. I can see her
relaxing slightly as I talk. If only I’d known all this before. In
time to save Mia. But if everything that’s happened can help Grace,
then maybe it won’t have all been for nothing.
    She slips out to serve another
customer, and I finish the pipe work. I turn the stopcock back on
and methodically check for leaks. It’s all good.
    As I walk into the shop, she’s
turning the open sign on the door to closed, but she doesn’t lock
the door to stop more customers coming in. There’s just us here,
and I don’t want to crowd her or make her nervous, so I stay where
I am as she hovers by the door.
    ‘The leak’s cured,’ I say.
    ‘Thanks so much. I don’t know
what I would’ve done without you.’
    The way she says it makes me
realize she’s not just talking about the plumbing emergency, and I
want to go to her, slip my arms around her and just hold her tight.
Smooth out the creases on her forehead and ease away the pain. I
shuffle on my feet to stop myself moving.
    ‘So, what do I owe you?’ she
says.
    ‘Nothing.’
    ‘Nothing? I have to pay you for
your time and the materials.’
    I shrug. ‘You could give me the
job instead.’
    She bites her lip again, and a
torrent of emotions plays out across her face.
    ‘Do you have any experience in a
coffee shop?’ she asks.
    I’ve got tons of experience
serving tea, coffee, and food, but not in a trendy coffee shop in a
nice town. A prison kitchen’s a million miles away from that.
    She takes a seat at a table next
to the door, and I