Calamity by J.T. Warren Read Free Book Online

gods were pleased or not?
Their closets shared a wall and if Brendan sat in his, carefully balancing himself on top of a pile of stuffed animals, while Tyler sat in his, Brendan could hear every word. Brendan listened last night and knew that the gods had had enough of him stalling for courage. They were threatening to ruin Tyler’s life (his brother had fucked up really bad with that weird bitch and now he could be totally fucked) and the only way Brendan could help him would be to man up and finally give the gods the sacrifice they wanted.
    While Dad cooked eggs in the kitchen and Bobo and Booboo donned Mexican hats and pursued the weekly carrot thief, Brendan reviewed his list of sacrifices.
    1—kick person down stairs
    2—push person off roof
    3—set person’s hair on fire
    4—burn person’s house down
    5—drown person
    6—make person choke on carrots (ha!)
    7—bury person alive
    And the list went on and on for almost two pages until
    45—run person over with car
    Of his list, Brendan could cross off over half the options because there was no way he could steal a car, or drive one, or overpower someone enough to drown them or make them choke and he certainly couldn’t bury anyone alive. The rest of the options were possible, but not without their challenges. Number 33, for instance, required him to suffocate a person. That could be done if the person was tied up, but that required Brendan to come up with a way to strap someone down first without them fighting back.
    The solution was easy, of course. Their cat, Lizzy, who Dad called Lizzy Borden for some reason, would be easy to sacrifice. He could tie her up and suffocate her or drown her in the sink or even put her on the train tracks that ran behind the elementary school--hell, he could even try to remove her beating heart--but killing the cat would be pointless. His goal was to protect his family. Certainly Tyler’s life was more important than Lizzy’s, but Brendan considered the cat a good member of the family who always offered love and affection without complaint and never meowed in the middle of the night to be fed like his friend Kyle’s cat did. Brendan could snatch a cat from the neighborhood but the community rules prevented any pets from roaming freely or being left outside unattended, so a cat would have to escape for Brendan to get his hands on one. Catching a cat that didn’t want to be caught wouldn’t be an easy task. Besides, the gods wanted human sacrifices. As the book said, in really bad times when things were their most horrible, only a human sacrifice would work.
    The easiest of the sacrifices—kick person down stairs—also offered the other crucial ingredient Brendan needed: anonymity. Performing a sacrifice for the gods only to be caught and punished defeated the purpose. He needed to be able to get away with it without any connection to him or anyone in his family. He could kick someone down the stairs at school and run away but there was always a chance that another kid or a teacher would spot him. Falling down stairs didn’t mean death, either. He’d need a place with a lot of stairs and he couldn’t think of anywhere.
    Someone was knocking at the front door. Brendan didn’t move from his spot on the floor in front of the TV, legs crossed, composition book resting on his calves. Dad wouldn’t ask him to get the door; it could be a stranger, after all. Dad was protective that way, which was nice. Brendan needed to choose a method. It had to be done today. If he waiteas If he d another week, Tyler’s problem might be even worse, perhaps deadly.
    Dad hurried through the family room saying, “Breakfast is ready—get it while the bacon fat is still hot and tasty” and answered the front door. On the TV, Bobo and Booboo had put down their rifles for large knives, which they used to dice up carrots while they interrogated the now captured thief.
    Brendan added to his list: 46—stab person
    Should have thought of that a