Call the Midlife by Chris Evans Read Free Book Online Page A

free at all. When I thought I was escaping, what I was in fact doing was wilfully jumping into a rowing boat already floating off downstream without any means of getting back to dry land.
    ‘What alcohol does is dull everything in its path and put all the useful bits of our personality into lockdown. We may think we arebeing more interesting or profound or funny or cheeky, but only if we’re surrounded by people who are also drinking; anyone who isn’t will be able to run rings around the lot of you.
    ‘Once I’d had a drink the treasure chest of my natural strengths and abilities was slammed firmly shut until I either went home or passed out – usually the latter.
    ‘And it didn’t end there. The next day, or days, even if I went a week or two without drinking, which I did a lot, I would still be picking up the pieces from the fall-out of my last few drinking sessions.’
    Oh my goodness, so you were (are) an alcoholic even though you didn’t (don’t) drink every day?
    ‘Well, of course, Christopher!’ she laughed. ‘Some people are alcoholics who barely drink at all. There’s myriad differences between drunks and alcoholics. Neither are pretty, both have issues, but everyone who drinks suffers in their own unique way as a result.’
    Is there not a single trait therefore that you can identify that all alcoholics have in common?
    ‘Well, I used to have all sorts of theories along those lines. But eventually I realized there are always exceptions to any rule – and times that by a thousand where alcohol is concerned.
    ‘One of my favourite theories used to be that, generally, alcoholics are consumed by low self-esteem and all that other unfortunate nonsense where such fragile personalities are involved.
    ‘I classified them via a phrase I really rather liked for a while – here it is:
    ‘ A lot of alcoholics are egomaniacs with huge inferiority complexes. No wonder they struggle with life and themselves if that truly is the case.’
    How do you feel about the claim that sometimes, when grieving for example, alcohol is a helpful catalyst to get things going?
    ‘I’ve heard this countless times and I’m afraid I’m just not an advocate of such thinking. It’s the booze that’s doing the crying, not the person. Whatever sorrow it appears to alleviate on the day is still in residence and will come back to bite you on the behind unless you deal with it properly, i.e. soberly.
    ‘By all means, if you feel it may help and if you can cope with it, apply alcohol as a temporary sticking plaster. But bear in mind that’s all it is. You must be prepared for the mess and gunk to ooze out again the instant you rip it off.’
    Amanda is almost convinced that for her and her fellow recovering alcoholics there is no such thing as healthy drinking. Furthermore, in a bizarre twist of the tale, she also believes that she and people like her need alcohol less in the first place than those who end up being able to cope with its more destructive effects better.
    What an entirely positive force for good she has become. She’s gorgeous and sparkling and full of life. Like champagne without the side effects.

    Why don’t we not drink?
    That’s one way of saving a shitload of money.
    I don’t know about you, but for the brief period I arrive somewhere before drink is in play, regardless of how little or how much, I am fairly flying. I’m funnier (not difficult), I’m more thoughtful, I’m more tolerant, I’m more of everything that’s good for me and everyone else.
    If I continued to ‘not drink’ as the night went on my options would remain open whereas everyone else’s would begin to narrow. I would leave when I intended to, largely because I would still be able to drive home – bliss, driving at night is one of life’s underrated pleasures. And, like my son, the next morning I would be good to go straight off the bat without having to write off at least the first half of the day to recover.
    Not drinking