Call the Midlife by Chris Evans Read Free Book Online Page B

increases our chances of becoming more successful.
    Here’s some proof.
    I have a pal who started working for a record company around the same time as I started working on the radio, back at the beginning of the Nineties. He is now the global head of a huge media empire. He couldn’t be any more successful in the corporate world if he tried. There’s nowhere else left for him to go.
    He has also never drunk in his life. Has he missed out? Not for a moment. He has led one of the most exciting, stimulating and rock-and-roll existences imaginable.
    ‘How did you do all this?’ I once asked him.
    ‘Chris, it really wasn’t that difficult. A) I’m good at my job. B) I love what I do. C) It doesn’t do any harm when most of your competitors have spent the vast majority of the last thirty years partying and not being able to function properly anytime this side of three in the afternoon.’
    Mmm. I want to be in his gang.
    We shall see.

 
    Marriage
    The Marriage Guru
    Top Ten Reasons Not to Get Married:
10
How do we know we know?
9
How do we know we know, we know?
8
How do we know we know, we know, we know?
7
How do we know we know, we know, we know, we know?
6
How do we know we know, we know, we know, we know, we know?
5
How do we know we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know?
4
How do we know we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know?
3
How do we know we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know?
2
How do we know we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know, we know!
1
It’s a really stupid and outdated idea that for some reason billions of us are still drawn to, even though we don’t subscribe in any way to the foundations, deeply questionable morals or outdated religiousness that it’s based on.
     
    Marriage is the ultimate proof that we human beings are the nuttiest bunch of idealistic romantics in the universe.
    Why, for example, do we not feel compelled to marry our cats or our dogs or our cars or our shoes?
    There’s no point because there’s no need. Most of us marry, I’m guessing, because it makes us feel more secure. But I fear the truthis few of us truly know the answer.
    The same goes for why some of us stay married and some of us don’t. The odds suggest it’s a crap shoot at best.
    I’ve been married three times now. So what does that make me? Really bad at marriage, or an expert? Does it make me a liar for going back on my vows? Or does it make me the epitome of honesty because I had the courage to admit when the vows I had undertaken no longer felt genuine?
    A recent survey put a series of questions to people who had been told they were going to die. Some had reached their life expectancy, some were a long way short of it, some had outlived their own predicted mortality. Assured of anonymity, each individual was asked to disclose the biggest lie of their life. A staggering 76 per cent of those questioned revealed that they regarded their marriage as the biggest lie; they were no longer in love with the person they were married to. Furthermore, 85 per cent of those who gave that response conceded that this had been the case for many years.
    It seems incredible, doesn’t it? At first, that is. But, realistically, what are the chances of meeting someone – purely coincidentally – and then successfully forging a partnership until death do you part?
    So when did the concept of marriage begin and why?
    Marriage has been around for thousands of years. Its original purpose was to confirm ownership of a woman by a man. Where genuine affection was involved, a wife might enjoy the protection of her husband and no longer need to worry about predatory males, be they rapists, drunkards, murderers or braggarts. In many cases, however, it was more a matter of, ‘She’s my personal slave now, so go sling your hook and find your own.’
    Times have changed in the thousands of years since the legal contract of marriage was