Candi by Jenna Spencer Read Free Book Online Page B

I just wish I could sleep. I wish I could close my eyes and not feel him on me and in me. I wish none of this had ever happened. I’d better get Ben back after all this.
    Please get all of these thoughts out of my mind. I feel sick and angry and sad. I feel dirty , but a dirty that’s inside, that I can’t wash off. Please make it stop… Please let me sleep, I am sooooooooooooo tired….
     
     
    Sept 16
    Yeah it’s official I got my midterms and I’m like barely passing anything. School sucks. Teachers suck. Parents suck. Everyone just takes all the fun out of living. I want one of Jess’s happy pillz. I gotta find her. Come out, come out wherever you are…
     
    Dylan called me and told me to come over. Jess was coming over and had something special for me. I can’t wait… happy pillz I hope. I made sure that Bob wasn’t gonna be there. Dylan said that we were safe tonight. Bob was at the bar.
     
    Oh Jess is the best. She gave me something called X. It was amazing. I felt so good. I just wanted to touch myself and kiss the world. It made me feel that good. Nothing bothered me… not school, not my parents, not my grades, not even Ben. I was just chilled-out happy. It was AWESOME!
    We heard a car door slam. Jess and I looked at each other and ran and jumped out the bathroom window. We weren ’t waiting around to see if it was Bob coming home for seconds. We were outta there!
    We laughed the whole way home. We felt like detectives or something, jumping out of the window like that. It was really cool. We can outsmart that asshole Bob.
     
    Jess came back to my house and spent the night. Mom said it was okay. She was happy to see me with a friend again. She even came up and brought us cookies and milk. For real mom…? Cookies and milk, what are we five years old? The cookies were kind of good actually. Jess and I had the munchies.
    We slept together in the same bed. I woke up in the middle of the night and Jess was touching my mouth with her fingertip. She started rubbing my boob and grinding on my leg. It felt nice. I still felt warm and fuzzy from the X. Jess had one more pill so we split it. I was so high I barely knew what I was doing. Everything Jess did to me felt so good. I never thought that I would be with another girl. It was different than the guys. She was soft and gentle. She touched me like a girl would want to be touched. She kissed me and her lips were so soft. She tasted so good. I wanted more.
    Then she went down on me. I thought that maybe I had cum with the guys before, but it was never like this before. Jess drove me crazy. She did things to me that I didn’t even know were possible. I felt like it was wrong what we were doing, but it felt so good that I didn’t care. I didn’t want it to stop. After I came, Jess laid next to me and kissed me. I could taste myself on her lips and I liked it. I touched her bare boob. Her nipples were hard. I kissed her nipple and she moaned. I wanted her to feel as good as I had felt. I slid my fingers between her legs and she spread her legs and moaned even more. I kissed her then I moved my kisses across her breast and down to her stomach.
    She trembled as my tongue to uched her clit. She was wet and grinding on my mouth. I slid a finger inside her as I licked her clit and she started to cum. She moaned so loud that I thought my parents might hear her.              
    I never thought that I would like being with a girl. But it was dif ferent. She knew what felt good and what I wanted. I had no clue really what I was doing but she seemed to like it. It felt nice, kind, and gentle the way I thought sex would feel. Jess curled up next to me and we talked for hours. She’s been through a lot of shit in her life.
    She confided in me. “I was raped by my uncle when I was ten years old. Ten years old for Christ’s sake. Who does that to a little child?” She shrugged. “After that, I didn’t really care. I started having sex with guys when I was