kids as I’m cooking. Jemma is asleep and Chase is throwing a fit about something behind her. Jay and Jeff show up shortly after, just as I am finishing up in the kitchen. I set out the plates and everyone helps themselves. I take a plate and sit at the table with everyone, and for a minute I forget all about my problems. It’s like old times. Jaime has his hand on my knee and he’s laughing with Jeff about guys who ride bikes with glittery paint jobs. Everyone takes turns talking Chase into eating his noodles.
After dinner the boys go out to the garage to smoke. Erica joins them, sitting Chase down in front of the TV. I stay inside to keep him company. Chase is a really cute kid, but he’s a smart-aleck, too. I ask him how preschool is going while we sit on the couch and watch The Lion King . About an hour later Erica comes in from the garage and puts him to bed.
I head out to the garage to check on things. “Anyone need a beer?” I ask poking my head out the door. Jamie is snorting a line of coke off the workbench and doesn’t turn to give me an answer.
“Sure,” says Jay, tossing his empty bottle in the recycle can.
“Jeff?” I ask curtly.
“I’m good, thanks, Lila.”
I duck back into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge. Then I head back into the garage. Jaime is sitting up on his work stool and Jeff is leaning over the workbench. I hear him inhale loudly.
“Want a line?” he asks, as I hand Jay his beer.
“No thank you,” I say and I give Jaime and icy stare that he avoids. I pack the bong and take a few hits, trying to get in on the conversation in the garage, but it doesn’t really happen. I wonder if Erica was doing coke out here. I sincerely hope not. As midnight rolls around I decide to head to bed. Passing through the kitchen there is still a pot of left over spaghetti, and dishes galore. Someone else can deal, right now, I am too tired. I fall asleep without much problem and it’s another hour or two before Jaime follows.
On Wednesday, Jaime and I both sleep in. He tries for some morning sex, but I’m just not in the mood. I really don’t care for sex in the morning. My breath smells and so does his, my hair is a mess, there’s sleep in my eyes, and the light illuminates just what poor shape I’m in before I’ve even made it into the bathroom. He doesn’t take no for an answer well and stomps off into the bathroom for a shower. I think the coke makes him edgy. Little things get to him so much more than they used to. We did cocaine together a few times, but only at parties. I never got addicted, but at some point I started to hate it. Jaime got the opposite effect.
I get up and get dressed while he’s in the shower. When he is out, I go in to get fixed up. I tie my hair up in a loose bun, letting long curls fall down at random. When I go out into the living room, Erica is passed out on the couch with Jemma. Chase must be at school already. Jaime is making a pot of coffee, and I notice that there is still a stack of spaghetti dishes and a pot full of dried out noodles.
“Wanna go out for breakfast?” I ask Jaime, not wanting to deal with the mess in the kitchen just so I can make the next one.
“No, I gotta get to the club house,” he says, and I’m curious as to what they have going on over there.
“Okay,” I say, somewhat disappointed and still hungry.
I go back into my bedroom and text Kelli.
{Wanna get breakfast with me? }- Lila
{Where?}-Kelli
{Mimi’s Café?}-Lila
{I still need to get dressed.}-Kelli
{Meet you there in 45 mins?}-Lila
{K}-Kelli.
I’m in my car waiting when Kelli pulls up in her black Chevy S10. She is dressed in black scrubs with pink and red hearts.
“Working later?” I ask her as she jumps down from her seat and slams the door.
“Yeah, got these scrubs on clearance at Ross after Valentine’s Day,” she says proudly.
“Nice!”
We make our way inside and are seated at a table in the middle of the busy café. It’s so
Learning to Kill: Stories