Cause of Death (Det. Annie Avants Book 1) by Renee Benzaim Read Free Book Online Page A

always seemed to let his ego get in the way.  Instead of relaxing and being himself - someone she would respect and admire based on his Native American values - he acted like the kind of self-centered smuck guaranteed not to impress her.  As soon as he dropped her off at her home, he wanted to kick himself for being such an ass.  He just didn't know what to do about it.
    Now, he was calling her to apologize for his behavior at the FoxFire Inn yesterday evening after Court.  He decided, after giving it a lot of thought, that he would make an effort to change his behavior.  He was ready for a relationship with someone 'real', someone with the values he held dear, but had let slip away.  He just wasn't sure she would give him another chance.  She was really pissed when she stormed out of the FoxFire Inn last night.
    The phone rang several times and she answered just as he started to hang up.
    "Hello," she said.  He could hear the hesitation in her voice.
    "Hi, Annie, it's Jesse.  Did I catch you at a bad time?"
    "No, Jesse, I didn't answer at first because I wasn't sure if I wanted to take your call."
    "I guess I deserve that, Annie.  I acted like a real jerk last night, didn't I?"
    "You're asking my opinion?  You don't know what a jerk you were?"
    "Yes, I do, and I'm calling to apologize.  I don't like it when I act like that, I really don't."
    "Then, why do you?  I've thought about the whole scene in Court and I can now understand why you were so curt with me.  Nothing would be served by dragging our error out for all the jurors to hear about one more time.  I really do understand that.  Why didn't you discuss it with me beforehand so I wasn't blind-sided?  Then my reaction would have been different.  But, no, you just sprang it on me as if it was your God-given right to act so high-handed and make me look like a dumb 'arkie'.  I didn't appreciate it one bit."
    "Yep, you're right.  I have a problem sometimes looking at what I'm doing from someone else's perspective and I was certainly guilty of that in Court.
    "But, the main reason I'm calling is to apologize for my behavior at the FoxFire Inn. That was uncalled for.  I don't know what got into me.  I guess I was just ticked off because you were questioning the way I handled myself in Court, even though I knew I could have done a better job of it.  So, I wanted to bring you down a peg.  I'm being honest here, Annie.  I care about you and I don't want you to stay mad at me forever."
    "Well, I don't know what to say, Jesse," Annie said.  "It's easy sometimes to see through your facade and see the man underneath, with a good upbringing.  I just worry about your goals now, and what you want out of life.  They don't seem to fit with who you really are anymore."
    "I admit I got distracted with the Indian-from-the-res-makes-good mindset.  But, that's not all.  I feel like I have to live up to my Dad's reputation and I always think I'll fall short of his expectations for me."
    "Jesse, I have the same problem with my family.  They want me to settle down in Arkansas with a local farmer, or whatever, have a passel of babies and be a stay-at-home-mom.  Like my sister.  That's not me, and I have to be true to myself.  Until you can reach that point and not try to impress everyone else - especially your father - there's not much of a chance for a true relationship between you and anyone."
    "You're right, Annie, and I'm consciously working on reaching inside and pulling out the real essence of who I am.  I just don't want you to give up on me in the meantime.  Maybe I need to take a break and visit my sister, Chianna in Calistoga.  She has a way of centering me."
    "That's a good idea, Jesse.  My problem when I go home to visit is that I end up reverting to 'their little girl' and behaving exactly like they want me to.  Then I could kick myself in the morning."  She laughed.  "After I get back to Bakersfield, I have to reassert myself and let my family