RAGE by Kimberly A. Bettes Read Free Book Online

night curled in the fetal position on my bed crying. Except for the fifteen minutes I’d spent in the bathroom with the handful of pills, trying to think of a reason not to swallow them all.
    But from now on, I needed to make time. No matter what was going on at home, I needed to make time to concentrate and get my homework done. At least if I failed because I got the answers wrong I’d know that I tried. Failing because I didn’t do it at all was really failing.
    The next couple hours went smoothly. In Woodworking, Carly and I talked about the Spring Fling dance that was coming up.
    “Who are you taking?” she asked.
    “No one.”
    “What? Who’d you ask? You did ask someone, didn’t you?”
    I shook my head while taking measurements of a board.
    “Brian! Why not?”
    “I don’t want to go.”
    “Really? Are you just saying that to get out of it or do you really not want to go?”
    I thought about just asking her to go with me. The worst thing that could happen is she’d say no. But I’d rather live the rest of my life thinking she would’ve said yes if I’d only asked than hearing her actually reject me.
    “I don’t want to.”
    She looked at me and thought for a moment. “What are you going to be doing that night if you’re not going to the dance?”
    I shrugged. “I don’t know. I need to study.”
    She nodded. “Yeah, you do. But you could study any other night. The Spring Fling only happens once a year.”
    I said nothing.
    “You should go.”
    “Are you going?” I asked.
    I could feel her looking at me as I marked the board for cutting.
    Finally, she said, “I don’t know yet.”
    “Has anyone asked you?”
    “Yeah. Derek and Jake both asked me, but I don’t want to go with either of them.”
    I finished marking the board and picked up the handsaw.
    “Why not?”
    “Derek’s a jerk and Jake only asked me because Miranda told him no.”
    “So who do you want to go with?” My heart stopped in anticipation of her answer. Then, suddenly, I was afraid of her answer. There were plenty of other boys she might want to ask her to the dance. It would crush me to hear her say one of their names. But I’d already opened my dumb mouth and asked, so I braced myself for whatever answer she gave.
    “I don’t know. I think I’ll just wait and see who else asks me.”
    Breathing a huge sigh of relief, I began cutting. I wanted to ask her. More than anything I’d ever wanted. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if I’d read her wrong? What if she wasn’t referring to me asking her to the dance? How stupid would I look then?
    I spent the rest of class cutting her boards. We then went to lunch, where I ate alone at my table and managed to avoid Dominic. In fact, my day was going pretty smooth. No incidents at lunch. In Biology, he ignored me because slicing open a frog was much more entertaining to him. But then came P.E. That’s when my day went to hell.

Chapter 8
     
    I’d been given permission to sit out today. When I told Mr. Laughlin I didn’t feel like participating because I had a headache from getting hit with the make-believe baseball, he reminded me that I sit out most days, and then told me to stretch and take a bleacher. I did as I was told, finishing just as the boys were emerging from the locker room.
    Occasionally, I watched the boys playing basketball, but most of my attention was on Carly. Her hair was in a ponytail today. I liked it when she wore it that way. But then again, I liked it no matter how she wore it.
    Halfway through the hour, a rumble rolled through my lower stomach area, followed by a sharp pain. I had to use the restroom. Now.
    I jogged around the gym, butt clenched tightly. By the time I entered the locker room, I was running. I ran into the nearest stall and barely got my jeans unfastened and pulled down before it happened. It must’ve been the meat loaf at lunch that wasn’t agreeing with me because I hadn’t had breakfast.
    I sat there,