Charlie Bumpers vs. the Squeaking Skull by Bill Harley Read Free Book Online

Then
nothing
will scare you.”
    Uh-oh,
I thought.
Maybe I should hide until after Matt goes to sleep.
    My mom got home just before the Squid’s bedtime. The Squid wanted her to make the bunch of grapes costume right then.
    “So it’ll be ready!” she insisted.
    “No, Mabel,” Mom said. “We have to do it on Halloween day, so the balloons don’t lose their air.”
    “I think we should do a practice one tonight,” said the Squid, “so I can sleep with the balloons on. It will be very comfy sleeping on balloons.”
    But Mom said no.
    Finally, I couldn’t put my bedtime off any longer. I put on my pajamas and brushed my teeth and called out good night to everyone. I read for a while.
    No Matt.
    Maybe he had forgotten. Maybe he was really tired, too, and had gone to sleep early.
    I read for ten more minutes, then turned off the light.
    “Chaarrrr-lie,” a voice whispered through the half-open door. “Chaaaaaarrrlliieeeeee.”
    I looked up. The door slowly swung open. I could see shadows on the floor. They looked like two giant hands, each with a really long index finger. The fingers waggled back and forth.
    “Cut it out, Matt,” I said. “You are not the Long-Fingered Man.”
    “Noooooo,” Matt whispered. “Because the Long-Fingered Man is deaaaaaaaaad. And I’m going to tell you how he died.”
    “Really?”
    “Really,” Matt said.
    I was a little relieved that the Long-Fingered Man wasn’t alive anymore. But I didn’t want to hear how he died. Unfortunately, Matt slipped inside the room and sat on my bed. Ginger sat up and looked at Matt like
she
wanted to hear the story.
    I knew it wasn’t true. I knew Matt was just trying to scare me. I knew it was stupid.
    But it still gave me the creeps.
    “It was getting so bad that people were afraid to go out at night,” Matt whispered. “The police department had most of their men searching for the Long-Fingered Man. One night a policeman noticed an old run-down house on Fernglade Avenue. There was a faint light moving around inside the dark house.”
    “Matt,” I said. “Stop it. This is totally freaking me out.”
    “That’s what it’s supposed to do,” he said. “This is the final, ultimate de-scaring of Charlie Bumpers.”
    I hid under the covers. Matt pulled them back and went on with the story. “So the policeman got out of the car, and he let out his dog—”
    “He had a dog? A police dog?”
    “Yes, dummy. He had a police dog because he was a policeman. And don’t interrupt me again. The policeman and his dog crept up the stairs.” Matt’svoice got quieter and quieter. “When they came to the door, the cop knocked on it …” Matt rapped his knuckles on my bedside table.
    I shivered.
I hate this!
I thought.
I hate being scared!
    “The door creaked opened slowly, and—”
    Before Matt could do anything to me, I jumped at him and yelled, “AAAAARGGGH!”
    Matt let out a scream and rolled off the bed. He hit his head on my nightstand again. Ginger jumped on top of him and started licking his face.
    “You idiot!” he yelled at me. “You bozo! You moron! You idiot bozo moron!”
    I started laughing.

    I was so glad the Long-Fingered Man wasn’t going to leap through the door to scare me or the policeman or the dog that I laughed harder and harder. I couldn’t stop.
    “You jerk!” Matt said.
    Then the lights came on. My dad looked down at Matt rolling around on the floor.
    “What in the name of all that’s good in the world are you two boys doing this time?”
    “Being de-scared,” I said.
    “Matt, get out,” Dad said.
    “Dad, your younger son is a bozo.” Matt stood up and walked toward the door.
    “You’re lucky he’s not a rabid bat,” Dad said.

15
Some Kind of Evil Plan
    On Wednesday at recess, Tommy waited for me outside with the soccer ball. Hector joined us, but before we could organize a game, Alex ran up.
    “Hey, you guys,” he said, gasping for breath.
    “Hey,” Tommy said.
    “I, um …” Alex looked