next. But I couldn’t ignore what my mind was screaming at me either.
“Stop,” I whispered. I reached up and gently took his hands from my face. As they dropped, he intertwined his fingers with mine, pulling me against him. Inhaling deeply, he pressed his lips hard against my forehead. We both struggled to calm our rapid breaths.
I leaned back, breaking our contact. “Comfortable, maybe. Going to have sex with you tonight ... not a chance.”
He held my stare as his eyes searched back and forth between mine. Releasing me, he smiled and laid his forehead on mine, running his hands up and down my arms.
“I think you should go,” I whispered.
“You’re probably right. I’m sorry.” He took another deep breath and stepped away from me. “I hope I didn’t scare you, or push you too far.”
I shook my head, confused about my feelings and what had happened. He stepped around me and opened the window.
“Wait, what are you doing?”
“You asked me to leave. I can’t go out the door so I will have to use the fire escape.”
“You can’t!”
“Jenna, if I go out the door I’ll get caught. My father would be furious if he knew I was in the girls’ dorm after curfew. He’s going to be in town tomorrow so I won’t be available, but can I see you on Monday?”
I nodded my head like a little girl pouting because she didn’t get her way. Did I want him to stay? No. I wanted him to go. I wasn’t the kind of girl who was going to have sex with him tonight, or any other night for that matter.
The emotional dilemma must have played out on my face. He touched my cheek, and lifted my chin toward him.
“You’re beautiful, but you don’t know that, do you?” His warm breath teased over my lips as his fingertips traced down my face. His eyes lingered on mine like he was committing them to memory. “Be careful Jenna,” he whispered, “You could drive a man to do bad things.” His lips curved into a smirk. “It’s one of the things I like about you.” He released me, giving my forehead a quick kiss and climbed out the window.
>CHAPTER SIX<
“Katie! It’s seven-thirty. I can’t wait any longer. I don’t even know where I’m going.” I yelled into the steamy shower room, unsure of which stall she was in.
“Yes you do, we’ve gone over it a thousand times.” She laughed from behind one of the curtains. “Just go. My class isn’t until 8:30. See you back at the room around noon. Have a great first day!”
“You too,” I yelled pushing my way through the crowded bathroom and into the hallway.
People rushed around me as they hurried back and forth. Anxiety over the first day of classes hung in the air wrapped in a cover of excitement.
There were two streams of people; one heading to the stairs, one to the elevator. I followed the crowd onto the elevator. With my map firmly in my hand, I smiled to myself as my fingers traced over the creased and ripped paper. Katie had laid down a firm " No maps on the first day" rule. This map was hidden away for other reasons than needing directions.
Cale drifted into my mind. If I was honest, he never really left. The memories of Saturday night lingered with me. The trail of warmth left as he kissed down my neck, his fingertips exploring parts of me that had never been touched before. The entire memory was frightening but for the first time in my life, the fear had not shut me down. When his skin touched mine, I felt powerful in my fear and it was intoxicating. A new world had been opened to me. I found there was something I liked about being out of control. And, as much as it scared the hell out of me, I actually enjoyed allowing someone to have power over me – not because they took it, but because I gave it. Whatever had happened between us altered who I was, and the new me wanted more.
Warmth ran over my cheeks and I fanned myself with the map. I ran my hand through my hair, wishing I could wipe away the vision of us standing in front of the
Learning to Kill: Stories