back. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one."
"Drop it," he says.
"What, so I'm just supposed to tell you everything about me, but you can't tell me about you?"
"I didn't say I want you to tell me everything."
I roll my eyes. "Semantics."
"No," he says. "Not at all. I think there are certain things we all want to keep hidden for whatever reason, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We don't have to share everything with everyone."
I'm not sure what to say to that. I don't think he's wrong.
"Come down to the pool," he says after my pause stretches to awkward heights.
I shake my head. "No, I'm good up here. Gotta work on the music."
"Okay, well, the whole reason I came up to find you was just to give you a head's up, anyway."
"About what?"
"I heard your dad talking to your stepmom downstairs when I was grabbing a Bud Light," he says, and my stomach immediately twists. "He's gonna ask you to play for the team."
"The what?"
"You know, the baseball team." Doan gives me a funny look. "The one he coaches."
I take a step back from him. "Why would he ask me that?"
Doan shrugs. "I don't know. If I had to guess, it's so he can spend more time with you."
I let out a breath. "Great."
"I know I don't know the whole story there," Doan says, looking me straight in the eyes. "Or even the beginning of it. But if I were you, I'd do it. There's never enough time with your family."
I open my mouth to respond, but he shakes his head.
"Just trust me on that one, okay, Holly? No matter what, you can always forgive family. I understand better than you think."
And with one last look at me, Doan gives me a strange little half-smile behind his suddenly sad eyes before he claps his hand against the door frame and turns to walk down the hall.
I lean up against the door and watch him walk away, my eyes drawn to the ripples of the muscles in his back, but I'm not really seeing him.
I can't stop wondering about what he's talking about.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I'm sitting outside on the back porch later that night under the covered patio with a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs when the sliding door opens and Dad steps out onto the deck and glances over at me.
"Hey kiddo," he says, pulling the door shut. "Mind if I join you?"
I look down into my pasta bowl. "No, go ahead."
He walks over and drops into the seat across from me. "Beautiful out tonight, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is."
"Did you have a good time at practice the other day? It was nice seeing you there," he says, and I close my eyes. This is it. Doan apparently hadn't been kidding like I'd hoped he was.
"It was cool to see."
He nods. "Good. Listen, Holly, I was thinking about something. It would be really great if you joined the team. We're a little thin at third base and could use the extra body. It'd mean a lot to me if you would do it."
I suck in a deep breath and slowly let the air rush out of my body. I really, really don't want to do this. More time with Dad, more time with Doan. I'm not interested in having either.
And then there are the memories to think about. So many memories, so many days, so many nights, weeks, months, years; it'll all come back. I'm not ready for that, can't handle any of it. It isn't time.
I'm about to say no when I glance up at Dad.
"Okay," I find myself saying, and even though I'm not exactly wild about him or what he's asking me to do, the smile on his face when I agree is almost worth the irritation that being on the baseball team will bring.
My answer surprises me; I can't quite believe that word came out of my mouth. But maybe, something in me knows that all isn't quite lost after all.
"You can quit your job down at that cafe, too," Dad says.
I shake my head. "No, I don't want to do that. I like it there."
He looks surprised but recovers quickly. "Okay. Okay, sure. Up to you."
"When does this start?"
"We have a week until
Under An English Heaven (v1.1)
Diane Lierow, Bernie Lierow, Kay West