Circle of Friends, Part 2 by Susan Mallery Read Free Book Online Page B

tell her I’m terrific and tell me that in two years you’ll walk away without looking back?”
    Damn. “The two statements have nothing in common.”
    â€œI disagree. Either you feel something for me or you don’t.”
    This time he did capture her hand and rubbed his fingers against hers. “I respect you and admire you. I want you. But I will not love you and you shouldn’t love me.”
    More tears trickled down her cheeks. Her eyes were the color of a midnight sky and he could feel her pain. “Why? It’s not just because of Jimmy. It can’t be. What else is there?”
    He didn’t know how to explain. There were so many reasons and his need to protect Noelle was powerful and strong. He’d watched his mother fade away from a broken heart when his father had refused to care for her. He didn’t want that to happen to Noelle.
    No doubt she would tell him that the solution was for him to love her, but he couldn’t. He had loved his parents and they had both left him. He’d loved Jimmy and had ended up destroying his brother. Love was dangerous and ended in loss.
    â€œWhen this is over, you’ll find someone else,” he said quietly. “Someone willing to give you his whole heart.”
    She snatched back her hand. “Do you think I want someone else? I haven’t given my heart lightly. Love just is, Dev, whether you want it or not. You can’t command it or explain it. Has it occurred to you that I might love you forever?”
    He stood and stared at her. “Don’t,” he said hoarsely, knowing he would never have wanted that for her. “Don’t love me, Noelle. I’m not worth it.”
    She looked at him sadly. “Apparently, neither am I.”
    * * *
    S ATURDAY MORNING D EV pretended to work in his home office, but in truth he did little more than stare at a computer screen. From outside came the screams of laughter as six fifteen-year-old girls and Noelle’s other sisters played in the pool.
    Part of him wanted to join Noelle and part of him wanted to run for the hills. Being around her had grown more difficult in the past few days.
    She never said anything reproachful, never yelled or pouted. But he felt her gaze on him and knew she watched and wondered why he couldn’t simply love her back. She didn’t understand what she asked. She didn’t know how impossible everything had become.
    It was only two years, he reminded himself. Surely they could survive that long. Then she would be free to leave and start over.
    Except what if she were right? What if she did only ever love him?
    He rose and walked out into the family room. From there he could see the backyard and the pool. Noelle sat by the water. Did she avoid the play because she wasn’t in the mood or was she afraid a bathing suit would give away her secret?
    She’d lied to everyone she’d ever loved because of him, he thought grimly. She’d wanted to go to her parents and tell them the truth and he’d wanted to take control. He’d known that he had to be a part of the baby’s life, so that he could atone for what he’d done to Jimmy. The decision had seemed right at the time, but now...he wasn’t so sure.
    The doorbell rang. He hurried toward the front of the house, grateful for the distraction. But when he opened the door, he knew there was always a price for everything.
    A man stood on the doorstep. It had been fourteen years, but despite the increase in gray hair and wrinkles, Dev recognized him.
    His father offered him a tentative smile. “Hello, son.”

CHAPTER ELEVEN
    N OELLE WALKED INTO the house and found Dev facing down a handsome older man. There was enough tension in the room to strangle an elephant. Seeing as Dev was an experienced executive and used to dealing with lots of difficult people, she was going to go out on a limb and say the guy wasn’t selling magazine