ClosertoFire by Alexis Reed Read Free Book Online

doesn’t tell her that?”
    A muscle in his jaw twitched. She had his attention, at
least.
    “So when I was fifteen, I snuck out of the house. This girl
down the street was having a party. She had a lot of them. I could hear the
music all the way up in my bedroom, three houses away. I didn’t even want to be
there—I just wanted to act like everybody else for a change.”
    She paused, studying his face for signs of disbelief. He
inclined his head— Okay, go on —so she did.
    “This boy came up to me and started talking to me. I
remember he was wearing a jacket with the high school letters on it. It had a
football patch on the arm. He asked me to go upstairs with him. I said I
couldn’t and he got angry. Then he laughed and said he recognized me. I was
that ‘frigid little freak from down the street whose mommy kept her hidden
away’.” Lily put her hands over her face to hide the tears that spilled over.
    “What happened?” Darek asked.
    “I’m not saying any more until I know you believe me,” she
said. Her hands balled into fists. He pried them gently away from her face.
    “I’m sorry, Lily,” he said simply. “Please, go on.”
    Lily pressed her lips together between her teeth, sniffing,
swiping at her damp cheeks with the bedspread. “I was so mad and hurt,” she
confessed. “Something in me just snapped, and I knew right then what I could do
to hurt him back. Do you hear me? Hurt. That’s not supposed to be what
desire is about—I knew that even then—but I still did it.” She leaned over,
hugging herself tightly.
    “What did you do, Lily?” Darek’s tone was nonjudgmental but
the underlying dread in his voice was clear enough.
    “I went up to him. I started unbuttoning my blouse,” she
began, her face burning. “I still remember the look on his face—he wanted what
he saw but he was scared too. Really, really scared. I didn’t care. I kissed
him.” The tremors in her body reached her voice and she put her hand on her
throat to steady herself. Darek laid his hand on her back, stroking gently. The
touch soothed her and she pushed on through the wretched memory.
    “I kissed him until he was whimpering. Then I reached down
the front of his jeans and wrapped my hand around his penis. I’d never touched
a guy there before, but I knew exactly what to do. He was so hard. He came the
second I touched him.”
    Lily took a deep breath, gathering her courage. “At first I
was proud of myself. I showed him, right?”
    Darek said nothing, just watched her.
    She sighed. “I thought it was over, so I went to make my
big, dramatic exit.” She turned her head away from Darek, too ashamed to tell
the rest to those dark eyes that missed nothing. “But when I turned to go, he
just went crazy,” she said, studying the wallpaper.
    “He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me back. He said
I had to stay with him, that he loved me, that he would die without me. His
eyes were bloodshot—they kept rolling back in his head. He pulled down his
jeans, grabbed a handful of my hair and pushed me to my knees. Nobody stopped
him—everybody was too stunned, I think.” Lily stopped, a shudder running down
her spine. “He put his crotch in my face and begged me to suck him. When I
wouldn’t, he hit me. He tried to shove himself in my mouth.”
    Darek swore.
    Lily faced him again, seeking understanding in his face. “I
panicked,” she continued, her voice cracking. “I just…grabbed his balls and
twisted. He screamed, let go of my hair and I ran. I just got the hell out of
there. I didn’t even look back.”
    “Good. I’m glad you did,” Darek said firmly.
    Lily frowned. It wasn’t the reaction she’d anticipated. “But
don’t you get it? I did something to him. Don’t try to tell me I
didn’t,” she argued. He said nothing but there was no condemnation in his gaze.
She went on, “When I got home, I locked myself in my room and showered for like
an hour and a half.”
    “What did your mom