Collateral by Ellen Hopkins Read Free Book Online Page B

my quaking legs,
    my panties had soaked through.
    Jesus. Some things are worth
    waiting for, my California girl.

THE “MY”
    Took me over the top. In that
    moment, I wanted to be his,
    and so gave him things I’d always
    resisted. BC (Before Cole), oral
    sex had been offered, and received,
    with definite boundaries. That night,
    we exchanged it with abandon.
    I opened my legs wide, pushed
    his face in between, urged his tongue
    deep inside me, asked his fingers
    to follow. I let him bring me right to
    the edge. Stopped him. “My turn.”
    He was down to boxers by then.
    BC, I’d been with a grand total
    of four men. And if I were to describe
    â€œsize,” I’d have to say three average,
    one little. Comparing to breast size,
    three B-cups, one double-A. Cole
    is a C-plus, and while that didn’t
    surprise me, neither did I expect
    it. They say size doesn’t matter,
    but in my estimation, it makes things
    both problematic and sort of amazing.
    I quickly learned to relax my jaws,
    coax him inside my mouth little by
    little. It was intense, and all I wanted
    in those moments was to make
    him feel like the most important
    man in the world. I still had no clue
    how quickly he would become that.

SIZE DEFINITELY MATTERED
    When he finally slipped inside
    me. If I hadn’t been so wet,
    it would have been uncomfortable.
    As it was, he filled me up completely,
    a sensation I had never known.
    He flipped onto his back, pulled me
    on top of him. His eyes never left
    my face as he lifted my hips, slid
    me backward, against his critically
    hard erection. A gentle push and when
    my own eyes jumped wide, he smiled.
    There was no pain, but extreme
    pressure against that deep internal
    spot some people argue does not exist.
    It does; at least I definitely have one,
    and Cole was the first guy ever to
    find it. I am not a moaner by nature
    and, in fact, have always believed
    all real-life sex-squeals were put on,
    some sorry attempt at porn sound-
    track noises or something. But, totally
    unplanned, unforeseen, and unbidden,
    a minuscule ah-ah-ah began in the back
    of my throat, grew into a steady ooooh
    as I climbed toward orgasm. It swelled
    into a small scream as I reached
    the plateau. A foreign place. Almost
    surreal, and he wasn’t finished yet.
    A shift of bodies, and then he was on
    top, rocking fast and faster into me.
    I locked my legs around his waist,
    lifting my hips to make him touch
    that elusive spot again. He took a long
    time. A very long time. We reached
    the pinnacle together. When our bodies
    were quite finished, still we stayed joined
    until we had no choice but to slip apart.
    Then Cole turned me on one side, urged
    me into the bowl of his body, held me
    there. Exceptional, he whispered into
    my hair. Extraordinary. Within a few
    minutes, his soft, steady breathing told
    me he was asleep. I closed my eyes,
    but didn’t tumble straight into dreams.
    Rather, I thought about how quickly lives
    can change. Because, while intellect
    insisted this was likely a transient connection,
    a sliver of emotion really hoped it wasn’t.

I AM, BY NATURE
    An early riser. Even watery
    rays of predawn light will trigger
    the built-into-my-brain wakeup
    call. So the next morning, when
    my eyes stuttered open at eight
    oh six, my first thought was, Wow.
    That’s weird. And then, in this order:
    Who is in bed with me? Cole. Right.
    Wait. What day is it? Monday? No!
    I’ll never make my nine a.m.
    I extricated myself from Cole’s arm,
    still resting in the U of my waist.
    He moved restlessly, but the depth
    of his breathing indicated sleep.
    I grabbed some clothes, hurried
    into the bathroom to shower off
    the remnants of sweat-soaked sex.
    I was already struggling a little
    in my developmental learning
    class and didn’t want to miss it.
    I wrote a quick note to Cole: Have
    classes until four. Back by five.
    Hope to see you then. If not, when?
    I left it closed in the