Common Murder by Val McDermid Read Free Book Online

“It’s been a long time since we had the chance to talk.”
    Lindsay took a gulp of whisky and lit a cigarette. “I can’t sleep with you,” she burst out. “I thought I could, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”
    Deborah hadn’t forgotten the knowledge of Lindsay that six hectic months had given her. She smiled. “You haven’t changed, have you? What makes you think I wanted to jump into bed with you again?” Her voice was teasing. “That old arrogance hasn’t deserted you.”
    Outrage chased incredulity across Lindsay’s face. Then her sense of humor caught up with her and she smiled. “Touché. You never did let me get away with anything, did you?”
    â€œToo bloody true I didn’t. Give you an inch and you were always halfway to the next town. Listen, I didn’t expect a night of mad, passionate lovemaking. I know your relationship with Cordelia is the big thing in your life. Just as Cara is the most important thing in my life now. I don’t take risks with that, and I don’t expect you to take risks with your life either.”
    Lindsay looked sheepish. “I really wanted to make love with you. I thought it would help me sort out my feelings. But when you took Cara off, I suddenly felt that I was contemplating something dishonest. You know? Something that devalued what there is between you and me.”
    Deborah put her arm round Lindsay’s tense shoulders. “You mean, you’d have been using me to prove something to yourself about you and Cordelia?”
    â€œSomething like that. I guess I just feel confused about what’s happening between me and her. It started off so well—she made me feel so special. I was happy as a pig. Okay, it was frustrating that I was living in Glasgow and she was in London. But there wasn’t a weekwhen we didn’t spend at least two nights together, often more, once I’d got a job sorted out.
    â€œWe seemed to have so much in common—we liked going to the same films, loved the theatre, liked the same books, all that stuff. She even started coming hill-walking with me, though I drew the line at going jogging with her. But it was all those things that kind of underpinned the fact that I was crazy about her and the sex was just amazing.
    â€œThen I moved to London and it seemed like everything changed. I realized how much of her life I just hadn’t been a part of. All the time she spent alone in London was filled with people I’ve got the square root of sod all in common with. They patronize the hell out of me because they think that being a tabloid hack is the lowest form of pond life.
    â€œThey treat me like I’m some brainless bimbo that Cordelia has picked up. And Cordelia just tells me to ignore it, they don’t count. Yet she still spends great chunks of her time with them. She doesn’t enjoy being with the people I work with, so she just opts out of anything I’ve got arranged with other hacks. And the few friends I’ve got outside the business go back to Oxford days; they go down well with Cordelia and her crowd, but I want more of my life than that. And it never seems the right time to talk about it.
    â€œAbout once a fortnight at the moment I seriously feel like packing my bags and moving out. Then I remember all the good things about her and stay.”
    Lindsay stopped abruptly and leaned over to refill her glass. She took another long drink and shivered as the spirit hit her. Deborah slowly massaged the knotted muscles at the back of her neck. “Poor Lin,” she said. “You do feel hard done by, don’t you? You never did understand how compromise can be a show of strength, did you?”
    Lindsay frowned. “It’s not that. It just seems like me that’s made all the compromises—or sacrifices, more like.”
    â€œBut she has too. Suddenly, after years of living alone, doing the one job where