Confessions of a Tax Collector by Richard Yancey Read Free Book Online

believe. Half of you won’t be here by this time next year.” He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it. He held it up for us to see the words, written in large block letters: they’re listening. He jabbed a finger at the ceiling tiles above us. He flipped the paper over. On the other side was written, phones too.
    “But you hang in there,” he boomed, causing us to jump in our chairs. “Anybody want to talk to me, today or anytime, I’m in that little suite down the hall, last door on your right. Give your enrollment forms to me. Be the most important form you fill out your entire career—and, believe me, you’re gonna be fillin‘ out a helluva lot of forms.”
    He stuffed the paper back in his pocket and lumbered from the room. There was a silence, then Rachel said, “Well, that was encouraging.” Gina returned with the same small smile she took with her. Following her, like obedient ducklings, were Henry, Melissa, Beth, and a tall middle-aged blonde I had not seen before.
    “Well,” Gina said brightly. “You’ve met Toby, and here’s the rest of the group, with the exception of Mr. Culpepper, who’s on special assignment.”
    “He’s always on some kind of
assignment
,” Henry said.
    Gina ignored him. “I think you already know Beth and Melissa from the open house. And Henry, of course. This is Cindy Sandifer. She’s a recent transfer from the New Orleans District.”
    “Welcome aboard,” Cindy Sandifer said. “Now, please, y’all don’t tell me your names all at once. I’ll never keep ‘em straight.”
    “I know ‘em all already,” Henry said. He pointed at Dee, “Anabelle.” At Allison, “Rachel.” At Rachel, “Caroline.” At Caroline, “And… Caroline.” He laughed. Perhaps he realized his mistake or recognized the oddity of two of the trainees having the same name. He did not say my name.
    “I’m Allison,” Allison said.
    “Dee.”
    “Rachel.”
    “He got my name right,” Caroline said.
    “Rick,” I said.
    “He’s an
actor”
Henry said to Cindy in a stage-whisper.
    “We suspect he may be simply here to research a role,” Gina said.
    Beth said, “Welcome aboard, everyone,” and left the room. Henry said he had an important call to make, and left. Melissa said, “This is very important: never go to Henry for help. Never ask him a question. If he gives you any advice, just nod and say, ‘Uh-huh,’ then find me—or Cindy.”
    “Cindy and Melissa will be your On-the-Job Instructors,” Gina said. “Dee, Rachel, and Caroline will work with Cindy. Allison and Rick, you’re Melissa’s.”
    Melissa smiled humorlessly at me. I lowered my eyes. I did not want to be Melissa’s. My impression from the second interview, in which I indirectly corrected her grammar, was she didn’t like me.
    “Melissa and Cindy will review all your work—before it comes to me for final approval. They are your coaches and first point-of-contact during the training year. Always check with your OJI first—that’s what they’re here for. They will accompany you to the field, sit in on interviews, monitor your phone calls, review all correspondence—at least until you’re comfortable and
we’re
comfortable with your progress. During these next two weeks, they will familiarize you with our procedures and some of the basic elements of the job—what we do here. In front of you is a booklet entitled ‘Revenue Officer Pre-Phase Training.’”
    Caroline fingered the edge of the booklet. Melissa said sharply, “Don’t touch that yet!” and Caroline snatched her hand away, smiling apologetically in Melissa’s direction.
    Gina said, “You’ll work through this material until you leave for Tampa. Oh, and by the way, we don’t have listening devices in the ceiling and your phones are not tapped. Any questions?”
    Yes
, I thought,
how did you know what was on Toby’s paper
?
    Allison asked, “When do we get to see our offices?”
    We did not have offices. Five