Covertly Strong (The Strong Series Book 1) by N.A. Alcorn Read Free Book Online Page A

friend.
    You’re my everything.
    I love you so much that my chest can’t stop aching from your absence.
    Please, Nix.
    Missing You Desperately,
    Sloan
    P.S. I’ve added ALL of my contact information. Phone numbers where you can reach me in Japan. Even my email address. I hope you’ll respond soon.

 
    June 1 st , 2000
    Nix,
    I just don’t understand. My chest feels hollow, and I ache for you in every single cell inside of my body. I wish I knew your reasoning for no longer responding to my letters. I’ve tried to call you so many times, but the phone just rings and rings and rings and rings...
    I feel like I’ve lost all possibilities in reaching you. Hell, I even resorted to trying to get in touch with anyone from the base in Honolulu to see if they knew anything, but it’s like you’ve completely disappeared.
    What happened Nix?
    Have you moved on?
    Did it just get too hard?
    A part of me wants to be angry with you, but I can’t seem to find the strength to do anything but love you. I’ve tried like hell to hold on to hope that you’ll come around, but after six months of being in perpetual limbo, I can’t seem to find the strength to write you anymore.
    This has all felt like a terrible dream. I keep hoping that I’ll wake up from it, that I’ll open my eyes and there will be a letter from you in the mailbox waiting for me.
    But I can’t seem to wake up. This nightmare is my reality.
    Sometimes I try to convince myself that I wasn’t in love with you. That maybe my heart never really skipped a beat when you flashed that gorgeous smile at me. That maybe the twinkle I thought I saw in your blue eyes was really just the sun reflecting weird. And maybe the feeling in my stomach, the butterflies that fluttered inside my belly whenever you were near, was just some weird fluke.
    But then I remember. I remember you. I remember us together.
    And I can’t deny the fact that our love was real. It had seeped into my veins and flowed inside my blood, breathing so much life into my heart. Love. We had so much love, Nix. And the seconds after I come out of my daydreams, fantasizing about being together again, reliving the moments we shared…I can physically feel my heart breaking all over again.
    You know what the worst part of all of this is?
    It’s how much I miss you. Not in some cheesy-romantic-movie, happily-ever-after, prince-on-the-white-horse kind of way. I just miss you. I miss you in my life. I miss my best friend.
    But it’s gotten to the point where I can’t even remember what it’s like to not feel broken. I’m just walking aimlessly through the foreign streets of Honshu, Japan (which I hate, by the way), barely breathing. My thoughts are lost…so far away. My mind is always racing, my heart is always aching, and sleep just doesn’t come easy. But God, do I wish I could sleep. Because at least when I’m sleeping, I’m not remembering.
    I know that we’re young, and I’m sure the fact that my father was transferred again on such short notice didn’t make things any easier, but I stayed optimistic that things would not end like this.
    It just hurts.
    Why does it hurt so fucking bad?
    This pain is nearly unbearable, and I keep hoping that time will make this easier. I keep praying that soon this jagged scar within my heart will heal.
    Maybe one day I will feel whole again.
    I know down to my very soul that what we had was real, and the pain I feel from your absence only solidifies that fact. Every ache, every burn, and every terrible sensation that terrorizes my heart gives me an odd sense of relief. In a sick and twisted way, this heartache is worth it to me. It proves that we tried for something, and even after all of the pain, I still wouldn’t take any of it back. Despite this unbearable agony, I’d still do it all over again.
    Loving you will never be a mistake for me.
    You’ve changed me, and I can never regret that fact. I’ll never forget the times we shared—the smiles, the laughter,