The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life by Daniel G. Amen Read Free Book Online

negative way.
    The DLS controls the sleep and appetite cycles of the body and is intimately involved with bonding and social connectedness. This capacity to bond plays a significant role in the tone and quality of our moods. The DLS also directly processes the sense of smell. Because your sense of smell goes directly to the deep limbic system, it is easy to see why smells can have such a powerful impact on our feeling states.
    Too much activity in the DLS is associated with depression; negativity; and low motivation, libido, and energy. Because sufferers feel hopeless about the outcome, they have little willpower to follow through with tasks. Since the sleep and appetite centers are in the DLS, disruption can lead to changes in habits, which may mean an inclination to too much or too little of either. For example, in typical depressive episodes, people have been known to lose their appetites and to have trouble sleeping despite being chronically tired. High activity in the DLS may be due to deficiencies in the neurotransmitters norepinephrine, dopamine, or serotonin;increasing these chemicals through supplements or medications may be helpful. Low activity in the DLS has been associated with lowered motivation, decreased reactiveness, and misreading incoming information.
    DLS in Relationships
    When the limbic system functions properly, people tend to be more positive and more able to connec t with other people. They tend to filter information in an accurate light and they are more likely to give others the benefit of the doubt. They are able to be playful, sexy, and sexual, and they tend to maintain and have easy access to positive emotional memories. They tend to draw people toward them with their positive attitude. When the limbic system is overactive, there is a tendency toward depression, negativity, and distance from others. They tend to focus on the most negative aspects of others, filter information through dark glasses, and see the glass as half empty. They tend not to be playful. They do not feel sexy and they tend to shy away from sexual activity due to a lack of interest. Most of their memories are negative and it is hard to access positive emotional memories or feelings. They tend to push people away with their negativity.
    P OSITIVE DLS R ELATIONAL S TATEMENTS
We have great memories.
Let’s have friends over.
I accept your apology. I know you were just having a bad day.
Let’s have fun.
I feel sexy. Let’s make love.
    N EGATIVE DLS R ELATIONAL S TATEMENTS
Don’t look at me in a negative way. All I can remember is the bad times. I’m too tired.
Leave me alone. I’m not interested in sex.
You go to bed. I can’t sleep.
I don’t feel like being around other people.
I don’t want to hear you’re sorry. You meant to hurt me.
I’m not interested in doing anything.
STATEMENTS FROM PARTNERS OF PEOPLE WITH DLS PROBLEMS
She’s negative.
He’s often depressed.
She looks on the negative side of things.
He doesn’t want to be around other people.
She tends to take things the wrong way.
He’s not interested in sex.
She can’t sleep.
There’s little playfulness in our relationship.
    D EEP L IMBIC S YSTEM (DLS) S UMMARY (the mood and bonding center)
DLS Functions   
Excessive DLS Activity Problems   
Mood control  
Depression, sadness  
Memories  
Focus on the negative, irritability  
Degree of motivation  
Low motivation and energy  
Emotional tone  
Negativity, blame, guilt  
Appetite/sleep cycles  
Poor sleep and appetite  
Bonding  
Social disconnections/isolation  
Sense of smell  
Low self-esteem  
Libido  
Low libido  
Flight-or-fight response  
Hopelessness  
   
Decreased interest in things that are usually fun  
   
Feelings of worthlessness or helplessness  
   
Feeling dissatisfied or bored  
   
Crying spells  
   
Low DLS Activity Problems   
   
Decreased reactiveness  
   
Misreading incoming information  
    D IAGNOSTIC P