Crashing Down by Kate McCaffrey Read Free Book Online Page A

control window. She feels ill. ‘But,’ she says, watching her reflection, ‘it’ll be good. So just look.’
    She picks it up and stares at the window.

14
    Lucy can’t get away from her problems, because most of the late-night staff at Coles are from her school. At work that night, new rumours about the accident are circulating — the biggest one being that Carl was stoned. She prays this isn’t true, despite his obvious stoner behaviour that night, but knows the hospital would have tested him for drugs. There are also whisperings about Lucy. She can’t bear being the talk of the school — and now it’s likely to get worse.
    It panics her to let this new problem into her head, so she blocks that out too. She moves through the checkout area, acknowledging the regular shoppers with a false smile, helping the girls withtransaction problems in a muted voice. She focuses on the task at hand, trying not to think about the other test — the confirmation one, the one she’d hoped not to need — that is hidden away in her bathroom cupboard. But her body is telling her as surely as any test. She shakes her head.
Don’t. Don’t think about it. Wait for Carl to wake up first.
    Finally her shift is over, four hours that felt like four days. She crosses the car park to her Honda — she’d made the decision not to let this accident shake her confidence, that now, more than ever, she needed to be able to drive. She slumps behind the steering wheel. Suddenly she feels so dreadfully alone. She can’t talk to Lydia and Georgia for fear of blurting it all out. It’s not that she doesn’t trust them; it’s having to say it and make it real — she refuses to give
it
a name. Not yet.
    She should be concentrating on the road, but her thoughts keep wandering off track. She can’t stop thinking about their first time. Where all of this began.
    His parents were out, and despite the fact that it was only six in the evening, Carl’s bedroom was dark,shrouded in its heavy curtains. He gently undressed her, kissing her and touching her — fulfilling the entire repertoire they had created over the months. She eased off his T-shirt and ran her hands over his taut chest — he was ripped, and the feeling of his muscles thrilled her. He unbuckled his belt and dropped his jeans. His eyes fixed firmly on hers. His erection stood straight through his underpants; she couldn’t help but look. She’d felt it other times, even been brave enough to touch the skin; it had felt really weird. It didn’t need much touching to spring into full life — it was always at some level of hardness. She had commented on that once, how he always seemed to have a hard-on, and he’d laughed. ‘Only when I look at you, or think about you,’ he’d said. But she’d never really seen it before outside his clothing.
    He raised an eyebrow and she nodded. He slid his underpants down and stepped out of them, sliding into the narrow bed with her. She was surprised by the size of his penis. It was huge. And even though he started stroking her and kissing her, she couldn’t help thinking that a thing that size was never going to fit into her. She remembered the first time she’d used a tampon and how difficult it hadbeen to insert. This thing was longer and at least ten times wider. But he was gentle and slow, as always. Running his fingers over her, making her relax. All the while, she could feel his penis against her leg, throbbing like it had a life of its own.
    â€˜Shall we?’ he asked finally. Her eyes were shut but she felt herself nodding. Why not? She felt him get out of the bed and took a peek. He was standing side-on to her, his massive boner like a flagpole in front of him, studying the condom. She watched him nervously as he fitted it on, taking his time and adjusting it, and then he was back in the bed with her. He lifted