Crashing Down by Kate McCaffrey Read Free Book Online Page B

himself onto her, supporting most of his weight, and began kissing her. Then she felt it pushing against her. She tried to relax, but it didn’t seem possible. The next minute the pushing gave way and she felt it sliding in. Not painfully but completely filling her. He gasped, and she turned her head away. Whatever sensation he was feeling, she knew it was different to hers. She felt invaded, and slightly clinical as she considered he was not only on top of her but also inside of her. The idea seemed suddenly ludicrous and she had to stifle a laugh. He began thrusting. That wasn’t painful, either, butshe wasn’t sure what the effect was meant to be; it seemed a long way from the centre of her action. It was relatively quick and she knew it was about to happen. Two massive thrusts, a bit of groaning and then he sank down on her, still inside.
    â€˜I love you, Luce,’ he said, kissing her.
    â€˜Love you too,’ she said. It was actually done.
    Afterwards, in the shower, she knew there was no going back to just holding hands.

15
    It’s the last real day of high school, even though there are still the exams to come. Lucy feels restless. Let down. This was never how she imagined her last day would feel. Other Year 12s are running around, signing school uniforms, but she just can’t get into the frivolity of the day. There is a Carnivale on the oval — sumo wrestling, a dunk-the-teacher stand, music pumping — but she just wants to be out of there.
    â€˜I’m going, guys,’ she tells Lydia and Georgia, who are standing in line for fairy floss.
    â€˜You okay, hon?’ Georgia asks.
    Lucy knows they have both accepted her distancing herself. They are far too good friends topush her on anything. But she is just unable to talk about that night, unable to face the reality in front of her.
    She nods, despite the fact she is so not-okay. ‘Just want to go home.’
    â€˜Sure.’ Lydia hugs her. ‘I’ll call you later, babe.’
    On the way home, she feels an eyelash away from hysteria. But she can’t contain it any longer — if she does, she might burst. The idea makes her laugh — then it’s problem solved, she thinks, as she knocks on her mum’s office door. Lucy has noticed that since the crash her mum is working a lot more from home and leaving Suzie mostly in charge at the shop.
    â€˜Can I talk to you?’ she asks, sitting.
    â€˜Everything okay?’ Her mum puts down her pen. ‘Have you heard something?’
    â€˜No, everything is the same. I need to tell you something. And I don’t know how. I think you’re going to be really disappointed in me.’ Lucy feels the tears from the last week welling. She realises that, except with her sister, she hasn’t actually cried; is there something wrong with her?
    â€˜You could never disappoint me,’ her mum says.‘I’m so proud of you. Of everything you do.’
    â€˜Don’t, Mum,’ Lucy warns, her voice almost breaking. ‘Let me tell you first.’
    Her mum nods, but Lucy sees a new anxiety settle on her face.
    â€˜I don’t know how to say it. So I’ll just say it,’ Lucy begins. ‘I think I might be — well, I’m pretty sure I am — pregnant.’ There, the words are out — but they still don’t sound real. They sound dramatic and silly.
    â€˜Oh, God,’ her mum says.
    Lucy starts to cry, and the tears are fast, the sobs heavy.
    â€˜Lucy, don’t.’ But her mum is crying, too. ‘It’s okay. We’ll be okay.’
    Any other time, her mum’s use of
we
would have caused Lucy to argue —
But it’s not us, is it, Mum? It’s me.
This time she takes comfort in it.
    â€˜I don’t know what to do,’ Lucy says into her mum’s shirt. ‘I’ve stuffed everything up, and I don’t know what to do now.’
    They sit for a while, consoling each