Crazy by Benjamin Lebert Read Free Book Online Page B

doesn’t seem to be much of a problem for him. We’re all here. Janosch thinks Troy will get interested in the girls. He has to. After all, he thinks Uma Thurman is sensational. Although in Florian’s opinion she’s lacking in the chest department. The only time she looked really good was in that skintight costume in
Batman.
Next to the fire escape there’s a plaque. I climb past it. It’s set into the stone with four silver nails. The plaque itself is bronze.
    THIS IS A FIRE ESCAPE MISUSE OF ANY KIND IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW
    I swallow.
    Okay. I’ll soon be at the top. I see the window in the girls’ corridor. Janosch has almost reached it. It’s open. The casement is moving in the wind. Janosch grabs for the windowsill.
    “I’ve got a question,” says Skinny Felix as we pull him into the girls’ corridor. He’s shivering a bit, twitching here and there. Maybe he should have been wearing more.
    “So ask,” says Janosch encouragingly, shoving his glasses back up on his nose. They’d fallen down his face during the climb.
    “Do you think anyone’s been tracking all this? And if they have, will they praise us later for being so brave?”
    He means it. He sounds preoccupied. Maybe also a touch of skepticism in his voice but fundamentally genuine. Skinny Felix is smart. I don’t often hear him kidding around. Glob says he’s our philosopher. I think he’s right, there.
    “Who do you mean in particular?” asks Florian a.k.a. Girl.
    “God, maybe. Do you think anyone up there watches us?”
    “Nobody watches us,” says Florian.
    “So why are we doing all this shit then?” is what Felix wants to know.
    “Maybe just because nobody’s watching,” says Girl.
    “But shouldn’t that make us all shit-scared of life?” is Felix’s next question.
    “Well, we are,” says Janosch. “Every step is a struggle.”
    “You looked pretty casual hanging off that ladder,” says Glob.
    “I won’t achieve everything I want, but I’m going to try everything I can,” is Janosch’s retort.
    “What’s that got to do with fear of life?” says Glob.
    “A great deal. Don’t ask me why. Maybe the constant feeling of wanting to achieve something.”
    “Have you achieved anything yet?” I ask.
    “Come on! I just climbed the ladder with you and Glob! You think that’s not an achievement?”
    “That’s not what I meant.”
    “So what did you mean?”
    “Whether life has anything in store for you,” I say severely.
    “Lebert—I’m sixteen. Not three hundred and four: there’s lots in store for me. Do you see that room over there that says MALEN SABEL, ANNA MÄRZ, AND MARIE HANGERL?”
    “Yes.”
    “That’s what’s in store for me next! And tomorrow there’ll be something else. Like French, for example. Or math. That’s youth.”
    “Youth is shit,” says Glob. “There’s far too little time. You’re always supposed to be doing something. Why?”
    “Because otherwise you’d leave it till tomorrow,” says Skinny Felix. “But you can’t leave whatever it is till tomorrow. While you’re putting it off, your life goes by.”
    “Where does it say that?” asks Florian.
    “In books, I think,” says Skinny Felix.
    “In books? I thought what was in books was stuff like when the Second World War happened. Or the difference between a main clause and a subordinate clause.”
    “That’s all in books,” says Skinny Felix. “But some books just tell you what life is like.”
    “And what’s life like?” says Glob.
    “Profound.”
    Everyone grins.
    “Are we profound too?” asks Janosch.
    “Don’t know. I think right now we’re in a phase where we’re still looking for the thread. Once we’ve found it, we’re profound too.”
    “I don’t get it.” Florian is scandalized. “So what are we before we’re profound?”
    “I think we’re seekers of the thread. That’s what youth is—one big thread hunt.”
    “Youth’s still shit,” says Janosch.
    “Though—I think I’d rather be a