Crazy Dangerous by Andrew Klavan Read Free Book Online

guys. Jeff was sitting in his swivel-chair throne, kind of kicked back with a beer in his hand. Ed P. was lying across the front seat of one of the cars, with his legs hanging out the door. He was doing something with the dashboard radio, I’m not sure what. Anyway, it wasn’t the same car as before. It was a big blue BMW. The Audi was gone, I don’t know where.
    Harry Mac was lying stretched out on the sofa, reading Sports Illustrated .
    And I was sitting in one of the swivel chairs, examining one of these Buster things, pulling the different blades and tools out, looking them over, pushing them back in.
    All of a sudden Jeff said, “You can keep that one if you want.”
    Startled, I looked up at him. “What?”
    “Sure. The Buster. Keep it. It’s yours.”
    “Oh no, I don’t wanna . . .”
    “Keep it. I’m telling you,” said Jeff. “It’s a present. You can’t insult me by turning it down.”
    I opened my mouth again, but nothing came out. I didn’t want to insult him, after all.
    “Anyway,” Jeff said. “You’re gonna need it. For a job. Soon.”
    I felt my mouth go dry. I felt my throat get tight. I licked my lips, trying to think of something to say. But I couldn’t think of anything.
    Slowly—almost as if my hand were working on its own—I slipped the Buster into my pocket.

    That night, after dinner, I went upstairs to my room. I was feeling bad—really bad. Scared about what was going to happen. I wanted to get out of this. It had gone too far. I wanted to tell Jeff that I wasn’t going to come to the barn anymore. But I knew in my heart that I wasn’t going to tell him. I was afraid to tell him. I was afraid he would beat me up. I was afraid he wouldn’t like me anymore. I was afraid I wouldn’t feel cool anymore when I went to school and would go back to just being a PK.
    I sat at my computer and I noticed Joe Feller was online. Joe’s a big, shambling, friendly guy, kind of like a Saint Bernard dog in human form. We’ve known each other since we were little. His parents used to go to our church, and Joe and I used to hang together after Sunday school. About a year ago, Joe’s dad got a job in Albany and they moved away. But Joe and I still chat online all the time. We’ve sort of developed this code, which is partly the usual chat abbreviations like LOL and IMHO and so on, but is also partly stuff we made up ourselves over time and just got used to using. So if I wrote our chat down word for word, it would pretty much look like alphabet soup to anyone who didn’t know us. So I’ll save you the trouble of translating and translate it for you myself.
    It went like this:
            ME: Are you there?
            JOE: Always at the keyboard.
            ME: Got a problem.
            JOE: You fascinate me strangely.
            ME: Did something dumb.
            JOE: Tell all.
            ME: Been hanging out with Jeff Winger.
            JOE: ?????
            ME: I know. And Ed P. and Harry Mac.
            JOE: That IS dumb.
            ME: I know.
            JOE: That is dragnet.
            ME: I know, I know.
    ( Dragnet is an old, old police television show that Joe likes because he thinks it’s so old-fashioned and funny. The theme song goes, “Dum-de-dum-dum.” So “dragnet” is Joe’s way of saying something is really, really, really dumb.)
            JOE: What do you do? With Jeff?
            ME: Nothing. They show me stuff.
            JOE: ?
            ME: How to break into cars. Pick locks.
            JOE: Cool!
            ME: !!!
            JOE: But dragnet.
            ME: Right.
            JOE: You should stop.
            ME: Thank you, Yoda. Your wisdom astounds me.
            JOE: But if you stop, they will kill you.
            ME: Bingo.
            JOE: Also, you will no longer be cool.
    I knew Joe would understand. Like I said, we’ve known