Crescendo by Becca Fitzpatrick Read Free Book Online Page A

thinking!”
    Patch looked around, as if he was wondering whether I was talking to someone else. “Spit it out?” he said, his tone darkly incredulous. Maybe even annoyed. “What does it look like I’m trying to do? If you’d calm down, I could. Right now you’re going to turn hysterical, regardless of what I say.”
    I felt my eyes narrow. “I have a right to be angry. You won’t tell me what you were doing at Marcie’s last night.”
    Patch threw his hands up.
Here we go again
, the gesture said.
    “Two months ago,” I began, trying to inject pride into my voice to hide the quaver in it, “Vee, my mom—
everyone
—warned me that you were the kind of guy who sees girls as conquests. They said I was just another notch on your belt, another stupid girl you’d seduce for your own satisfaction. They said the
moment
I fell in love with you was the moment you’d leave.” I swallowed hard. “I need to know they weren’t right.”
    Even though I didn’t want to recall it, the memory of last night resurfaced with perfect clarity. I remembered the whole humiliating scene in vivid detail. I’d said I loved him, and he’d left me hanging. There were a hundred different ways to analyze his silence, none of them good.
    Patch wagged his head in disbelief. “You want me to tell you they’re wrong? Because I get the feeling you aren’t going to believe me, no matter what I say.” He glared at me.
    “Are you as committed to this relationship as I am?” I couldn’t
not
ask it. Not after watching everything come tumbling down since last night. I suddenly realized I had no idea how Patch really felt about me. I thought I meant everything to him, but what if I’d only seen what I wanted? What if I’d grossly exaggerated his feelings? I held his eyes, not about to make this easy on him, not about to give him a second chance to skirt the issue. I needed to know. “Do you love me?”
    I can’t answer that
, he said, startling me by speaking to mythoughts. It was a gift all angels possessed, but I didn’t understand why he was choosing now to use it. “I’ll stop by tomorrow. Sleep well,” he added curtly, heading for the door.
    “When we kiss, are you faking it?”
    He stopped short. Another disbelieving shake of his head. “
Faking
it?”
    “When I touch you, do you feel anything? How far does your desire go? Do you feel anything close to what I feel for you?”
    Patch watched me in silence. “Nora—,” he began.
    “I want a straight answer.”
    After a moment, he said, “Emotionally, yes.”
    “But physically no, right? How am I supposed to be in a relationship, when I have no idea how much it even means to you? Am I experiencing things on a whole different level? Because that’s what it feels like. And I
hate
it,” I added. “I don’t want you to kiss me because you have to. I don’t want you to pretend it means something, when it’s really just an act.”
    “Just an act? Are you listening to yourself?” He tipped his head back against the wall and gave another, darker laugh. He cut me a sideways glance. “Are you done with the accusations?”
    “You think this is funny?” I said, hit by a fresh wave of anger.
    “Just the opposite.” Before I could say more, he turned toward the door. “Call me when you’re ready to talk rationally.”
    “What’s that supposed to mean?”
    “It means you’re crazy. You’re impossible.”
    “
I’m
crazy?”
    He tipped my chin up and planted a quick, rough kiss on my mouth. “And I must be crazy for putting up with it.”
    I pulled free and rubbed my chin resentfully. “You gave up becoming human for me, and this is what I get? A boyfriend who hangs out at Marcie’s, but won’t tell me why. A boyfriend who walks out at the first hint of a fight. Try this on for size: You’re a—jerk!”
    Jerk?
he spoke to my thoughts, his voice cold and cutting.
I’m trying to follow the rules. I’m not supposed to fall in love with you. We both know this