Criminal by Terra Elan McVoy Read Free Book Online Page A

“Only I know you don’t see it, so there ain’t no point.”
    â€œWhat are you trying to say?”
    This was the edge we usually came to, me and Bird. Fighting but not-fighting about Dee. About how she didn’t like him, didn’t want him around, but also didn’t want to undo things for me—my happiness, mainly. It seemed like this time, though, there might not be a limit to her anger. No place where she might back off.
    â€œI’m saying, Nikki, that boy ain’t no good. And I don’t like him in my house. And instead of getting smart about those two things, lately you just getting more and more up into him. Getting all wrapped up in what he is or isn’t doing, with who. Some kind of letter, whatever. I’m saying to you, Nikki, that when the po -lice”—she slapped her hand down flat on the counter, making me jump—“come to my house and ask me questions , it probably ain’t very wise or kind for you to take my car and go running off to him. I’m saying, maybe you need to think about who you really looking out for, and why. That’s all I’m saying.”
    Her eyes were steel. I could hear her breathing through her nose, like a bull. But I think I was also hearing my own breaths, coming fast. It wasn’t fair for her to make me choose. It wasn’t fair for her to have this house and everything in it, her baby,her job, her life she’d been able to turn around because she was strong and smart and brave, while at the same time trying to keep me from having any kind of my own happiness. She knew I didn’t have anything else. She knew it. And just because she didn’t have a man, just because she worked too hard to ever meet anybody new, that wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault my man came back to me and hers didn’t. Wasn’t my fault that she was too scared to love anybody—even, by the sound of her now, me.
    â€œI won’t bring him around anymore,” I said finally.
    She started yelling. “You already brought him around, Nikki! Him, and the police with him, and whatever bad he’s done, trailing it in, dragging it around, and spilling it on everything in here!”
    â€œI don’t know anything about that!” I shouted back at her. “And you don’t need to, either! What Dee’s done is his business, and I trust him. I won’t have him over if you don’t want him here. But don’t ask me to check my own happiness at the door too.”
    I was amazed that Jamelee wasn’t awake and crying, the sound of us. I almost wanted her to be so that one of us would have a real reason to end this, to go and check on her and finish talking for the night. I wanted to get away from Bird, and her anger, and the lie she’d just forced me to tell her. I wanted to get away from police and questions and worry and all of it. Iwanted Dee holding me again, like he had been only an hour ago. Making the world only him and me and nothing else.
    â€œGo in there”—she gestured to the bathroom around the corner—“look in the mirror, and you tell me just how happy you are.”
    â€œMaybe you should do that yourself,” I spat, turning around and leaving her there alone in her clean kitchen.
    But when I went to wash my face and brush my teeth, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t meet the eye of my reflection for more than a few seconds at a time.
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    Bird and I had fought before. Usually, after, we didn’t even apologize. She didn’t like dwelling on much of anything, but especially not ugliness. But apparently she’d been dwelling on her dislike for Dee even more than I thought. And now that it was out, I didn’t know how long it was going to stay around.
    The next morning, I kept out of her way. I was still mad too. She had to do her KFC job, though, and I had to go to work myself, so that made avoiding her easier. When I