Crossing Values by Carrie Daws Read Free Book Online Page A

that.”
    “If God really has the power to create this world, and if He truly loves me, then why . . .” Her voice faded.
    Peter waited.
    “Why is there so much pain? Can He not stop it? Is He powerful enough to make things but not powerful enough to control them? Or does He simply not care about what’s going on down here?”
    “Those are good questions, ones that a lot of people ask, including Christians. I’ve worked through them myself, not that I understand everything that happens in and around my family. Does God love me and my family? Yes, I’m confident of it. Even though life’s not always easy. God doesn’t always make sense. Probably the most difficult situation for me was reconciling God’s love with my older sister dying.”
    “Your older sister died?”
    “Yeah. Jamie. She was two years older than me and loved to help Mom in the kitchen. They were always cooking or baking, filling the house with all kinds of smells, mostly good. She was ten years old when she died. She just got sick that spring and never recovered.” Peter closed his eyes for a moment, lost in his memory.
    “It was probably roughest on Mom. She really struggled for a long time, not wanting to go to church or talk much to her friends. Sometimes she would walk into the kitchen and just cry because Jamie wasn’t there with her.”
    “It’s hard to imagine your mom like that.”
    Peter offered a quick prayer for wisdom. He heard strain in Amber’s voice and wondered again about her pain. Could it be the death of a sibling?
    “It was a couple years before she really began turning things around.”
    They reached the edge of the river and spent a couple moments in silence. It had been a while since he’d last thought about those awful months after Jamie died. The sounds of the river calmed his spirit.
    “Dad said you plan to head further east when the snow melts.”
    Silence.
    “Are you moving closer to family?”
    “No,” said Amber quietly.
    “Then why east?”
    “I guess because I’ve never been there before.”
    “You are moving just because you’ve never been there?”
    Silence.
    “What does your family think?” said Peter.
    “I don’t know.”
    “What do you mean, you ‘don’t know’? Amber, you’ve said you’re not sure where they are. Does your family know anything about your plans?”
    “I don’t know where my family is and I don’t care what they think.”
    Peter was speechless for a moment. His parents meant the world to him and he couldn’t imagine traveling on vacation without their knowledge, much less moving across the country. “I’m not sure what to say, Amber. I don’t understand.”
    “What’s to understand? My family isn’t like yours. My parents and I just don’t get along. I’m better off without them.”
    “How long have you been on your own, Amber?”
    She sighed deeply. “About ten years, I guess.”
    Ten years? Peter tried not to show too much shock. “How old were you when you left?”
    “Sixteen.”
    “What happened?” The question was barely more than a whisper but the pain he saw deepening in Amber’s eyes told Peter she’d heard him. He quietly waited for her answer.
    “Amber?”
    As he watched her closely, she fought for control, blinking her eyes rapidly. Reaching down to pick up an old stick, she began peeling away pieces of the bark.
    “Amber.”
    She looked at him and held his gaze for a moment.
    “I want to help. What happened?”
    “Nothing that can be fixed.” She looked past him into the forest, then down at the stick that was quickly being shredded. “Nothing that really matters.”
    “It matters to me.”
    Her hands stopped working and she closed her eyes. Tears began flowing down her cheeks. Peter closed the distance between them and took her icy hands in his. She jerked back, but he held firm.
    “It matters, Amber. Please, tell me.”
    “Why? Why does this matter? I’ll be out of your way in a couple months and you can forget all about