Cruel Boundaries by Michelle Horst Read Free Book Online Page A

of pain to the list of complaints, as well.
    The man who says he’s my father, has yet to leave my side. I can see the love he feels for me written all over his face. I can feel it every time he holds my hands, or brushes his fingers gently over my cheek. I can see he loves me, and I believe that I’m his daughter, I just don’t feel it.
    I feel lost within myself.
    Every time I try to remember, to search behind the curtain of fogginess, a sense of raw horror overwhelms me. It’s as if somewhere deep inside of me there’s a darkness behind that curtain ... and I’m scared of it. Panic overwhelms me until I’m nothing but a trembling mess, gasping for air.
    I tried only a handful of times, but it was enough for me to stop trying to remember. Now I take each minute as it comes, hoping I’ll never remember whatever it is that’s hiding in the dark parts of my mind.
    I hope I remember only the good one day, the love I must have felt for this family.
    ~*~
     

Chapter Twenty-One
     
    Noah~
    We were a pretty close-knit family before this happened, but now we’re even closer. We never leave each other’s side.
    I’ve taken some vacation time so I can be there for everyone. It’s guilt and not love that’s making me stay by Amy’s side. It’s my fault Brad almost killed her. I trusted him. He was my best friend for three years! I fucking trusted him, let him get close to my family, only to have him nearly succeed in killing Amy. My feelings keep going from one extreme to another, from the heaviest guilt to the darkest anger.
    I thought Uncle Garrett would beat me to death, too, but all I got was the same dark scowl Amy use to give me. I now know where she got it from. Uncle Garrett hissed one sentence to me, each word dripping with disappointment, “Family protects each other!” And that was the end of it. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way. I’ll never doubt anything Amy says to me again. I’ll protect her from now on, not because she’s my family, but because I owe her for putting her life at risk.
    ~*~
    The day Amy’s released from the hospital we all get ready to go to the beach house. It used to be Grandpa’s and Grandma’s. Dad, Uncle Garrett and Aunt Andrea inherited it equally.
    When we get to the beach house I hang back with Dad and Uncle Garrett to grab the bags. I watch Amy look around, clearly not recognizing the house. She stares at it for a long moment before she heads down the beach toward the same spot where weeks earlier she told me Brad had threatened and hurt her.
    It’s a sucker punch to my gut, one that rips open a hole of darkness, one that swallows me whole.
    The fear I saw in her eyes that day, comes back to me … and then it’s one blow after the other … her bloody body on the bed … her not breathing … Uncle Garrett’s cries … it’s one torturous picture after the other.
    ~*~
     

Chapter Twenty-Two
     
    Amy~
    I wish I could walk into the ocean and just become a part of it. Let the waves take me, drag me to the peaceful blue deep.
    I listen to everyone talk, so comfortable with each other. When they look at me with love and worry, I smile. I try to keep to myself, not knowing what to talk about, or how to respond to them.
    I hate that they all treat me like broken glass.
    I hate that they are so close to each other, and I don’t feel like I belong with them. I’m an outsider looking in.
    I hate seeing the sadness that sometimes slips over my dad and mom’s faces. I can’t get used to thinking of them as my parents. Hell, I don’t even know who I am!
    Who is Amy Macht? What kind of person was she? What did she like?
    It’s just so hard, all of it.
    Noah is my cousin, sort off. While in hospital we talked a little. He told me we used to fight a lot, that I always reminded him that he was adopted and not really family – now I’m the one that’s not really part of the family, and he fits right in.
    A girl came to visit me a few times, Sharon. Apparently she’s my