takes a deep drag. I follow suit and almost cough up a lung. Now I know how a cat feels when they get a fur ball. Taking a deep drag, he holds it before exhaling slowly. Smoke curls up around him before disappearing into the atmosphere.
“So, I have been puffing on the ol’ cancer stick since I was a kid.” Oh, my god what is wrong with me? “Lung cancer is all the rage these days.”
I can’t seem to stop myself, and he is clearly not amused at all. Nothing, not even a smirk from Mr. Moody. I take another drag and try to think about all of those undercover reporters that do all sorts of things like sleep with the enemy or dress in drag. Anything for the story.
Smoking is not that dangerous, right? Why am I trying to dig for a story anyway … so that I have an excuse to talk to him? I’m walking a dangerous line. What am I saying? I’m already out in the middle, dangling from the wire. He doesn’t want to talk to me, obviously, but I can’t seem to stop myself. What is it about a bad boy that good girls like me find irresistible? Maybe that can be my new pitch for my next story. I can hear Ralph shooting it down already. “So how do you like Copake Falls?” I try to break the ice and get him talking.
“Fine.”
Okay, Mister Chatty McChatterson is the silent type.
Can you get cheek cancer from cigarettes? “So … are you making a lot of friends?”
He raises his brows again and disdain practically drips off him. We both know that he has no desire to make friends, and the feeling is mutual between him and the student body.
“I bet you had a lot of friends back … where exactly is it you are from? Man, its cold out here.” I change my tactics from rocking back and forth to hopping from one foot to the other to keep warm.
“Tons,” he says sarcastically. He drops the cigarette and grinds it into the ground with the tip of his sneaker and starts to walk away without a word.
I need to stall him, to make him realize he wants to be my friend. “This was fun … Smoking. Will I see you the next smoke break?” Smoke break? What was that? Are we working in an offic e? I inhale another cloud of black smoke, and it chokes off all of my oxygen. I start to cough—the hacking, gagging, about to lose my Lucky Charms kind of cough. Not at all cute, but then again, is smoking really ever cute? I really need to work on my undercover skills if I’m ever going to make it in the reporter world.
“See you, Ace,” he mumbles before hurrying off towards the school. The air instantly seems too warm with his absence.
###
“How many cigarettes do you need to smoke before you start to see signs of lung cancer?” I ask Liv as we shuffle down the lunch line. I reach for a chicken sandwich but put it back when Liv gives me the “eat it and die” look. I grab a wilted cheese sandwich instead.
“I don’t know, why? Oh, my god, Eden, did you smoke a cigarette?” She leans forward, sniffing the air around me.
“No.” I wave her back with my hands. “Okay, maybe, but it was just one,” I confess.
“Eden, cigarettes kill. Just one can kill you! Do you know how long it takes to reverse the effects of smoking? Not to mention the countless animals who are killed every day from the testing that goes on inside the tobacco companies.”
I shrug, my stomach turning, not only from the poison lurking in my body but from the thought of what a smoker’s lungs look like on the posters that hang in the girls’ locker room.
“Why did you do it?” she scolds me as we shuffle a little farther down the line.
“Did what?” Jamie comes up behind Liv and wraps his arms around her waist.
“Our dear friend, Eden, is trying to kill herself by smoking. I’m just wondering why?”
Jamie glances at me, and we share a look. He and I both know that we are not friends. The only reason he lowers himself to being seen with me is for Liv’s sake.
“Oh, that’s because she was smoking with the new foster,” Jamie says, and
Learning to Kill: Stories