Darkest Before Dawn by Gwen Kirkwood Read Free Book Online

well-loved brother or a good friend. Take as long as you like, young lady. I’ll come back later with my charts.’ She walked briskly away, leaving Fenella and Billy staring awkwardly at each other until Billy summoned a wobbly smile.
    ‘I thought you might blame me after the stuff I read in the papers.’
    ‘Oh Billy, I hoped you’d never see the papers. I–I think my father was to blame for a lot of that. He’s been terrible. He’s making Mum’s life hell, in fact. Mine too, when I’m at home, but at least I get away to school. Mum sent you some sweets and some grapes, by the way. She would have come to see you too only it would cause more trouble. I hate him when he’s like this. He must realize it was all Derek’s fault.’
    ‘Derek is dead,’ Billy said flatly. ‘He can’t speak for himself, even if he had wanted to. Mr Lennox knows that. I expect he’s clinging to the image of Derek he has in his memory.’ He couldn’t help the bitterness when he thought of the contrast with Liam, soinnocent, so honest and truthful.
    ‘Well, I’m working terribly hard at school. If I can get enough higher grades to go to university after fifth year I shall go a year early and escape from the awful atmosphere.’
    ‘But you’re not seventeen until next summer.’
    ‘I know, but Glasgow might accept me if my grades are all As. The sooner I can get away from home the better. It’s a long course anyway to be a vet so a year early would help. I don’t know how Mum can stick things at home. She knows how I feel. She hopes my father will get better with time but she does understand how I miss Liam and how angry I feel because my father thinks he’s the only one who is suffering. Mum says if things are still as bad by next summer she might help me buy a flat. I could rent out a room to help with expenses and she might come to stay sometimes for the weekend. I’d like that. There’s nothing to keep me here now,’ she added bitterly.
    ‘I’m sure you’re clever enough, Fen, if you’re sure it’s what you want,’ Billy said, ‘but you always said you wanted to go to Edinburgh.’
    ‘I know but that was mainly because you and Liam would have been there.’ She summoned a smile. ‘I thought I’d get lifts home. Now all I want is to get away.’
    ‘I hate to see you so miserable, Fenella.’
    ‘I miss Liam terribly.’ She caught her breath on a sob and Billy reached out and stroked her hand.
    ‘I shall have to wait until next year too if I still decide to go for a degree. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t bother then I could go home and get on with my life.’
    ‘Oh, surely you’ll have even more need to get adegree now, Billy? Mr Fisher said I was to tell you he’d like to come in and talk to you about a change of career. He says you have lots of options with your exam results.’
    ‘He always did consider agriculture was a waste of time,’ Billy said drily.
    ‘Only for you, because you’ve done so well at school.’
    ‘Well, farming is all I’ve ever wanted to do, whatever anybody says,’ Billy stated belligerently. Fenella reached forward and squeezed his hand.
    ‘I know that, Billy, but even your parents don’t think it will be possible now – now….’
    ‘Now that I shall have a peg leg, you mean,’ Billy finished bitterly. ‘Don’t be afraid to mention it, Fen. I’m learning to accept it but it doesn’t mean to say I shall let it change my whole life. Think of all the servicemen who lose limbs and still lead useful lives. Think of all those children in Africa who have stepped on mines and lost both their legs. At least I can still see and think and I have two good arms.’ He grimaced wryly. ‘As Rev. McCally says, I have to count my blessings.’
    ‘I know. I don’t think it will be easy, though, carrying buckets of milk from the parlour or feeding calves when all they seem to want is to knock you over and spill the milk getting at the bucket. And what about calving cows when