Darkfall by Denise A. Agnew Read Free Book Online Page A

“That’s too open ended. What do you want to know?”
    “Did you…are you all right? Did the war…do anything to you?”
    He snorted softly and returned to staring at the floor. “Do you mean am I all fucked up? Do I have bad dreams and all the other typical bullshit?”
    “Yes.”
    “No. That’s the bloody weird thing about it, I suppose. I don’t have nightmares, and even when I think of bad things I’ve seen in the war, I don’t dwell on it. I adjusted damn well to what I did and what I saw.” He shrugged. “Maybe it means I’m an asshole. Maybe it means I don’t have any feelings. It’s better you know that before you get any ideas about me.”
    He glanced over at her, and she lifted one eyebrow. “Right. Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
    He frowned. “About what?”
    “That you’re an unfeeling bastard. If that was the case you wouldn’t have cared what happened to me. You wouldn’t have volunteered to help me because you wouldn’t have given a damn.” He heard her draw in a deep breath. “All right then. Tell me some of what you saw and did. I want to understand.”
    “Because I’m a captive audience?”
    She smiled slightly. “Yes. Now get with it.”
    “Jesus, you’re bossy.”
    Her smile grew wider. “So I’ve been told. Now spill it.”
    Ian closed his eyes and licked his lips. “Sometimes when I close my eyes I can almost hear and feel the mountains in Afghanistan. It’s cold, desolate, and yet beautiful in its own way. It’s a hell on earth when you’re fighting a war. But I imagine to its people it can be a type of paradise. When you’re in a war, it’s easy to forget not everyone who lives there is your enemy. But you’ve got to keep perspective and your humanity.”
    “What did I say about feelings?”
    “Okay, right. I get it. I’ve got feelings.” He tried his signature glare again, but he didn’t think it worked anymore…at least not on her. He obviously couldn’t discourage her from this line of questioning.
    “You’re not a machine.”
    His frustration went up a notch. “No, I’m not a machine, but when you’re out there with only your team…the only feeling you can really have is the survival instinct. Whatever that takes. However long it takes.”
    “At all costs. You’re not saying you and the…the men you work with have no moral compass. I know that’s not true.”
    He shook his head. “No. I’m not saying that. We’d better have a moral compass. It’s the ones that slip through the cracks, who…”
    He swallowed hard. Damn. He’d backed his shit right into this one.
    “You’ve met men in the SAS without a moral compass? Someone who slipped through the cracks?”
    “Only one.” A shadow seemed to pass over him, and he shivered. He didn’t think he could tell her this story. This one was too unbelievable. “Hope I never meet another like him.”
    “Tell me.”
    Her command was a soft request he couldn’t ignore. He didn’t look at her, though. He didn’t think he could ever meet someone’s eyes and explain what had happened.
    He took a moment and then plunged into the deep end. “Lance Corporal Ethan Brody was his name. A medic on our team. We were at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan and a part of a squadron out of Scotland. I’ve also been trained in what’s called mobility. We’re experts at using vehicles and desert warfare. We know an advanced level of motor mechanics and can repair shit in the field when it breaks down.”
    She shifted on the bench and lowered her feet to the floor. “I remember. You looked at my piece of crap car once.”
    Memories flooded back of when he’d recognized a simple problem with her old Dodge sedan three years ago. She’d acted like the sun and moon set on him because he’d fixed the wee issue. At the time his ego had soaked it up like the proverbial sponge.
    “Doesn’t matter what I can do. The team came back to Bagram one day…just making our way through until we could