Dead to You by Lisa McMann Read Free Book Online Page B

I’m a freak. “I guess because nobody ever found me,” I say. “How would I have known anybody tried?”
    “We tried.”
    “I know that now.”
    “Good.”
    And then it’s awkward, the two of us alone in a quiet, slowly darkening minivan. Two strangers who used to be friends. But I can feel something here between us. Different from any of the other girls. Deeper. Maybe I’m imagining it. Or maybe this just means something, to have these ties that go back so many years. Maybe you don’t have to remember something for it to be true. For it to exist.
    She’s looking at me, a little afraid about her feelings, maybe. A little guilty. Probably thinking about the boyfriend. But wanting it—this thing between us. That’s probably the best way for her to be, though. Wanting. The wanting always keeps you on your toes, makes you fight for more. I know that well enough.
    “I should go,” I say. “Homework.”
    “Yeah, me too.” She bites her lip and looks down. I hope she’s not looking at my crotch.
    I scramble up, suddenly self-conscious, and bump my head. “Shit.” I start laughing uncontrollably, but manage to contain it so I don’t quite sound like a lunatic. Score.
    She laughs and climbs up over the seats to turn off the minivan’s engine. Pulls the keys out. “See you tomorrow?”
    I shrug, open the slider door, and hop out. She follows. The freezing wind flips my hair off my face. “If I don’t get abducted,” I say with a grin, but it doesn’t really sound funny. “Thanks for showing me the tape. That was . . . that was cool of you.”
    She stands there, head cocked and tape in hand, like she’s trying to decide something. “You want it?” She holds it out to me.
    “Nah. I’m good.” I’ve seen enough. More than enough, probably. I turn and grab my backpack and trudge home through the yards, past the snow family that does not include me, and into my house.

CHAPTER 15
     
    Gracie’s stirring mushy chocolate ice cream in a bowl when I walk in the kitchen. Mama looks up sharply. Comes over and hugs me a little too tightly, and then pushes back. “Where were you?” she asks.
    I set my backpack down in a chair. “I went over to Cami’s after school.”
    “Oh,” Mama says. She presses her lips together and turns her face away. I can see her take a deep breath and let it out.
    “Why, what’s up?”
    “You’re sposta call Mama if you’re going to be late, even one minute. That’s the family rule,” Gracie says.
    Mama nods, grim-faced. “I didn’t tell you, Ethan. I guess I didn’t expect you to go anywhere on your first day.”
    “Blake didn’t tell you? He saw me go.” I grab Gracie’s spoon just as it’s going up to her lips and shove the glob of ice cream into my mouth.
    “Hey!” she yells, and slams her elbow into my hip. “Mama! Efan stole my ice cream and got his gross germs on my spoon!”
    But Mama’s distracted. I grin at Gracie, pushing melted ice cream through my teeth. She scowls and takes her bowl with her to get a new spoon, grumbling, and then she moves to the other side of the table.
    I swallow it and turn back to Mama, realize she was really worried. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I should have thought of that.”
    “Yeah, it’s sort of a family thing, after what happened.” Mama glances at Gracie, and I know that means not to say anything scary.
    “I can see why you’d want to know where everybody is,” I say. And I can see it now. After the tape. “But I don’t actually know the phone number here.”
    “It’s on one of the papers I gave you this morning, remember? I told you. I showed it to you.” She looks freaked again and her voice is on the fringe of yelling. “You have that sheet, right? Please check.”
    “Oh, yeah,” I say. I’m sure she’s right. “Yeah, I have it. Sorry, I just forgot.” I watch her cautiously.
    She waits for me to check, so I do. Sure enough, there it is. I feel her eyes boring into me. And for a second, I