Dead to You by Lisa McMann Read Free Book Online

for now and each teacher will assess you, do some testing, so we know if you’re in the right place.”
    We meet the principal and the school counselor and then she walks me through my schedule. It’s easy and I’m really just anxious to get away from her. She walks me back to my first period, and thankfully I get a seat without too much staring.
    I don’t know anybody in my classes. At lunch, I just sit alone in the middle of the cafeteria and people mostly come and go around me, but some of them say they know me. I tune most of it out and smile when I’m supposed to. Sometimes I pretend to remember something—it’s almost a sport now, after the weekend family disaster.
    The teachers are decent enough not to make some big announcement about me being there, although one of them, Ms. Gibbons, gets a little gushy, calls me a hero and a survivor. In the hallways, a few people stop me and say stupid “I thought you were dead” things, but I try to stay low-key. I mean, how do you answer that? “Thank you”? Eyes on the ground or on the map, scowl on my face. Most of them either don’t remember because they were too young, or they don’t really care. Fine by me.
    When the bell rings at the end of the day, I manage to find my locker again. I grab my stuff and take off to the bus, stuck behind foot traffic. The crowd shifts and moves as one huge mass. Finally, I bust through the doors to the bus line. My stomach twists when I see her long, black hair.
    And the guy who’s touching it.

CHAPTER 14
     
    And then they’re kissing. He’s leaning back against the bus and she’s leaning into him. And I—I’m suddenly doubled up in hysterics, laughing uncontrollably with a crowd all around me, feeling like a total psycho loser and unable to stop it, so I drop down to one knee. Start tying my shoe. Gasping and laugh-crying down at the snow-packed cement as people bang into me, their knees catching my kidneys and shoulders and digging in a little harder than they need to, because I’m there, in their way.
    When I finally get it under control, I stand up, take a deep breath and let it out, and move past Cami and the asswipe. I get on the bus and sit up against the window, staring out at them.
    I have no idea what to do when she climbs on the bus, alone, and sits with me.
    “How was it?” she asks.
    “How was what?”
    “Your first day, duh.”
    “Fine.” The bus chugs out of the lineup and we’re moving, heading toward the middle school, where we pick up the next load of students.
    She just looks at me. “Is something wrong?”
    I want to yell. Not at her. Just loudly. Scream, so the crap and buildup of everything can get out. I want to hurt somebody. Anybody. Seriously, I could beat the crap out of a little kid right now. I grip my knees and talk myself through it.
    The feeling passes.
    “Ethan?” She leans in, concerned, and I can smell her. Jesus. Baths together. Fuck.
    “I’m fine,” I say, and change the subject. Blurting it out. “Tell me what happened after.”
    “After school?”
    “After I disappeared.”
    She slumps back in the seat. “Oh.” She shakes her head. “Oh, that.” She takes a deep breath. “It was pretty terrible. Are you sure you want to know?”
    “Yes,” I say, smiling through gritted teeth. “Please.” We come to a stop in front of the middle school just as the students start streaming out of the building. There is chaos as they load. They are so loud. I want them to shut up. Blake raises an eyebrow as he walks past our seat, but says nothing.
    “Well, from what I remember, I guess Blake told your mom that you got into a black car. Then your mom called my mom, all hysterical. She asked if you were at our house. Of course you weren’t. So we all went out and started looking around the neighborhood for you, and Blake kept yelling about you getting into the backseat of the car. Then the cops came and I guess they got the word out to look for a black four-door, but that’s