apologize. “After the divorce, I went back to Jackson.”
He gave a small nod. “I’m sorry for my reaction. I had a ridiculous preconceived notion that you’d been pining for me all this time, pure and aloof, and certainly not married to someone else.”
Her chin inched up and her eyes flashed, spirited but still heavily laced with guilt, which hadn’t been his intention. “We never had any commitments. I never—”
“You’re absolutely right,” he broke in gently. “We didn’t have a formal agreement. It just takes some adjustment in my mind to reconcile you with another man. What was he like?”
She shifted uneasily, her gaze dropping back to her hands. He waited, not pushing, but letting the weight of his silence drive her to give him the answers he needed. Had that one moment in his office shaken her so utterly that she couldn’t trust any man at all?
“We obviously didn’t get along very well because we divorced,” she finally answered. “I shouldn’t have married him. I don’t want to talk about him. Not with you.”
Ah, but that’s exactly what he needed the most, because something wasn’t adding up in his head. Her fear caused by his initial anger worried him. He’d seen only desire and shyness in her eyes tonight, before he’d found out she’d been married. Dread tightened his throat, but he fought for calmness in his voice. “Did you fight often?”
“At the end. He…didn’t treat me very well.” She forced a laugh, shrugging, and it broke his heart. He didn’t even know who the bastard was, but he’d break him with his bare hands if he ever ran into him. So many hurts and sorrows darkened her eyes that she tried to hide.
“Daddy tried to tell me it was a mistake to marry him. He was right. I knew it was a mistake the day I married him, but…”
Slowly, he sat down on the bench, not too closely. She didn’t flinch away, which he took as a good sign. He stretched his arm out on the railing and traced the whorls in the wood with his fingers, when what he really wanted to do was feel the softness of her skin in the moonlight.
“I’d lost you, and I was so lonely.” Her voice was fragile, so low and soft he strained to hear. “By then, I figured you weren’t ever riding up on your white horse and it was too late for me to call you. I thought it’d help if I moved on with my life. I was wrong.”
Her voice broke and he had to touch her. Gently, he grazed his fingers across her shoulder. Shuddering, she moved, not further away but closer, enough that he could smell the sweet vanilla scent of her hair.
“Rae, darlin’, it was never too late.”
She shook her head, her shoulders straining, but she eased closer. If he moved an inch, he’d be able to drape his arm across her back and hold her, but was that what she wanted? He dared not move too quickly.
Anguished, he asked the questions tearing him up inside. “Did you really miss me? Did you need me? Did you think of me at all?”
Long moments passed, his heartbeat loud in his head. Barely breathing, he waited for her answer.
“Always.” Turning in a rush, she buried her face against his chest. “Oh, Conn, I missed you so much I wanted to die.”
Chapter Five
Conn smelled as good as she remembered, only she’d never been wrapped in his arms like this. Careful and polite, he’d barely touched her that semester long ago until that very last day. She’d taken his final, turned her blue book in, and met him at his office, giddy, silly, and totally unprepared for the real Conn to peek out from behind his civilized professor veneer.
Of course, it was the dangerous, sexy, demanding man who’d pinned her on top of his desk for a slow, seductive spanking that she’d dreamed about all these years. She didn’t realize she was crying until he stroked his fingers across her cheeks to brush the tears away.
“Shhh, darlin’, don’t cry. Not a day went by that I didn’t miss you, wondering where you were, what