concern.
âOh, Iâll be fine, Caleb,â I said brightly. âIâm hoping my name will be on that list â and if not, well, Iâll cross that bridge when . . . if it comes.â I was not encouraged to see that he looked doubtful. There was no immediate riposte of âOf course youâll be on it, Cat.â He for one thought I was not indispensable to the company.
âItâs here. The listâs here!â Long Tom, a stagehand, bellowed from the Green Room. There was a stampede of feet from all directions, screams and cries as actors, dancers, stage crew, labourers, scene painters, carpenters and front of house staff all converged backstage. I sat for a moment â too terrified to look, yet knowing I had to.
âDo you want me to find out for you?â askedCaleb gently. He must think me a coward for hesitating so long.
âNo, no, Iâll do it, thanks.â I patted his gnarled hand and stood up. Feeling as if time had slowed down to crawling pace, I made my way to the Green Room.
âIâm in!â shouted Long Tom, slapping me on the back as I passed.
âWhat about me?â I asked huskily.
He frowned. âSorry, Cat, I didnât notice,â and he went off to celebrate the good news with the others who had also been chosen.
I couldnât get to see the list at first: the crowd was so thick. Two dancers were weeping on each otherâs shoulders. Mr Salter, the prompt and box office manager, looked self-righteously pleased with himself. I overheard Mrs Reid talking to her assistant, Sarah Bowers.
âIâm sorry, Sarah, the only way I could manage it was to make a cut in your wages. Weâre going to be so hard-pressed. The budgetâs been slashed; weâve got to transport the costumes, put others in store. I did my best.â
Sarah nodded miserably. âI understand, Mrs Reid. At least Iâve still got me job. I appreciate all youâve done for me.â Her eyes fell on me and she flushed scarlet. âIâm not complaininâ, really Iâm not.â
By now my heart was pounding, my throat dry. Had Mrs Reid cut Sarahâs wages so that she could do something for me? Was that what Sarahâs look meant? I wormed my way to the front of the crowd and scanned the list pinned to the wall. All the names were familiar, people Iâd known since I was a baby. It took a moment to work out who hadnât made it into the lifeboat. Two-thirds of the stagehands were going, most of the set painters, half the front of house staff. No carpenters â theyâd been transferred to building the new theatre. No doorman as Caleb had predicted. And no Cat.
It couldnât be! I started at the top again. Catherine Royal. I had to be there. I looked under Wardrobe â just Mrs Reid and Sarah. I searched under Messengers â no one was being taken. I even checked under Actors as I had once appeared briefly on the stage. Nothing. I turned to ask MrsReid if there was some mistake but her expression told me everything.
âIâm sorry, Cat, but I couldnât squeeze you in. Iâve already had to reduce Sarahâs wages, poor girl, and sheâs got a sick mother to support.â Mrs Reid led me out of the Green Room and into the corridor. She lowered her voice. âI had to choose between you and Sarah â itâs been a very difficult decision. But, as I told myself last night, now youâve got those fine friends of yours in Grosvenor Square, I feel sure youâll get by. Theyâll see you all right, wonât they?â
I nodded dumbly. I didnât know what else to do. My strongest desire just then was to be on my own.
âCheer up, Cat. When we get back here, Iâm sure Iâll find something for you to do if you still need the work.â
In two yearsâ time she meant.
âBut youâll have to do something about that sewing of yours,â she said with a