come, lad!â yelled his father as his termagant of a mother wept into a white handkerchief.
I stood among Sydâs boys. They gave three cheers as the carriage turned the corner. Their leader rose in his seat, waved his cap to us and was gone. Sad though I was to see him leave, I was in some ways relieved. His brief kiss had forced me to see what I had, I now realized, purposely beenclosing my eyes to: Syd loved me. I could never just be one of the boys to him. He didnât want me in his gang because he thought he might have other plans for us when we both came of age.
I found the thought terrifying. I didnât feel old enough to consider marriage and family seriously. Though never exactly sure of the year of my birth, I guessed I was about thirteen or fourteen. Many girls from Covent Garden of my age had paired up by now; some poor souls already had babies hanging on their skirts, despite being barely out of childhood themselves. We all know we donât get long on this earth â death a daily occurrence where I come from. Most of us will be dead by twenty-five, probably in the course of bringing into the world another orphan like me to shift for herself, but even so, I wasnât in a hurry. I knew Syd would want to wait until we could get properly married and do the decent thing, but that wasnât far off now. A couple of years and I could be Mrs Fletcher. Help. I didnât want that. I didnât want a life of babies and washing and shopping and cooking and cleaning. I wanted tostay in the theatre. I wanted to write. I wanted to be free. I wanted to marry for love.
Donât get me wrong, Reader: I do love Syd. He is the best, the most honourable boy I know. But marry him!
Stop the pen right there. Iâm getting carried away, jumping from a kiss to wedding vows. Let us return to business before I get any more foolish ideas.
I arrived back at the theatre to find the place humming with excitement.
âWhatâs going on, Caleb?â I asked the doorman. He shifted along and patted the bench beside him. âItâs the list, Cat. Mr Kemble said itâd go up today.â
âWhat list?â
âThe master . . .â (he meant Mr Sheridan) âasked Mr Kemble to work out who the company could take with them to the new theatre. Thereâs going to be blood spilt later, or my nameâs not Caleb Braithwaite.â
I felt as if I had just stumbled into a pothole inthe dark. I hadnât known about this, though I should have guessed.
âWhat about you, Caleb? Do you know if youâre going to be on it?â I felt very afraid for him: the Kingâs Theatre was certain to have a doorman in residence. What would an old sailor like Caleb do? He had no family Iâd ever heard of and I had known him all my life.
âNay, lass, I wonât be on that list. Drury Lane is my home. I ainât going nowhere.â
âBut Caleb, donât you know whatâs going to happen to this place?â
He gave me a sad smile. âAye, Cat. Donât you fret about me: Mr Kemble and his sister have said theyâll see that Iâm all right and theyâve been as good as their word. The old widow who keeps the cookshop in Gerrard Street said she could do with a man to watch the place.â He leant closer and whispered conspiratorially, âThat means Mr Kemble has paid her to give me a post at the fireside but doesnât want to hurt me pride by telling me so.â Caleb chuckled. âOld age is a terrible thing, Cat. Iâm proud, but not that proud.Iâll sit and guard Widow Kingâs pastries for her.â
âIâm pleased to hear it.â I breathed a sigh of relief.
âOld age is bad, but being a young maid with no family ainât that much fun either, Cat. What will you do with yourself? I donât want our Cat to fall into bad company like so many wenches do.â His cloudy blue eyes were full of