Desolate by A.M. Guilliams Read Free Book Online

hard to do, but I felt lighter knowing that I could leave this place and I wouldn’t have to come back. I could continue moving forward with my life. From here on out that’s what I planned to do. Look forward without looking back.
    Putting the SUV in reverse, I backed out of the driveway and stopped in the middle of the road to take one last look at the home that we’d always dreamed of sharing. Now a new family could enjoy it as much as we had. About thirty seconds later, a horn beeping broke me out of my trance and I put the SUV in drive. My heart pounded against my chest. The further I drove away, the harder it hammered. I couldn’t breathe by the time I got to the end of our street. When I got to the stop sign, I closed my eyes, picturing the beautiful mountain scenery. My grandparents’ land had been a safe haven for me growing up, and I hoped that by going there I’d get the clarity that I needed. Four months ago, all I wanted to do was be put in the ground right beside them. Now I just wanted peace. To be able to live and breathe for no one else but me. I’d never move on from them, but I could live out my life feeling free. There wasn’t any better place for me to do that than the mountains I grew up loving. No one was out there. It’d just be me and the rolling hills.
    As soon as my chest stopped feeling tight, I pulled off of the street and onto the main road. Refusing to look back and wish for what might’ve been. What should’ve been.
    After stopping to fill up with gas and get a cup of coffee, I set off in the direction of my grandparents’ farm. My farm.
    The drive down 64W passed by in a blur and before I knew it I was taking the exit to Route 29S. The further I drove down the all too familiar stretch of highway, the calmer I felt. I still had an aching hole in my heart, but I could finally take a deep breath without the emotions threatening to choke the life out of me.
    Now entering Nelson County, Virginia.
    The sign I’d been waiting to see.
    I had the radio blaring on some country station and the windows down in the SUV. There was nothing like feeling the wind through your hair and smelling the mountain air. As I took in my surroundings, more mountains came into view, causing me to wish the drive would hurry and pass by. I couldn’t wait to explore the land like I used to when I was a child.
    The next song to come on the radio had tears filling my eyes. Sarah Evans’, There’s No Place That Far, began playing and thoughts of Andrew filled my mind. He’d always told me that if I ever tried to leave him, this is what he’d do. He’d search high and low until he found me and could bring me back home. We’d always joked about me not coming home one day just so he could find me. Only this time, he was the one that would never be coming home again. It’s true what the song said, there wasn’t a place far enough away that I wouldn’t try to reach him. Only the place that he’s at now couldn’t be reached by any form of transportation. He was permanently gone from this Earth, enjoying the afterlife with our son while I was stuck here being tormented by the fact that I couldn’t enjoy it with them just yet. When that day came, I’d officially be the happiest woman alive. Death couldn’t arrive fast enough.
    Before I knew it, the road that I had to turn down appeared in the distance. If I weren’t paying attention, I would’ve missed it. Within minutes, the gated entrance to my destination was in view. After I pulled into the drive, I stopped at the gate and pushed in the code that Clyde had given me. The gate slowly opened, and I put my SUV into drive and went through it. I drove up the hill and to the right, the farmhouse came into view. The two-story home had seen better days, the shutters needed replacing as well as the siding, but I could handle all of that. My newest project would be getting the house back into the shape it was in before my grandparents’ passed away. No one had