Diary of a Mummy Misfit #1 by Amanda Egan Read Free Book Online Page A

and wasn’t comfortable with leaving her ‘home alone’ yet.  God, if I had a cleaner I’d be more than happy to leave her alone.  I don’t want to do the cleaning myself , so why would I want to watch someone else do it?  We’ve got nothing worth pinching though, so I guess the stakes are much higher.
     
    Had to sit in the driveway of the house for a while to get my mouth to close, before I finally got out of the car.  Wow, I thought F&J’s house was a humdinger but … this one!  No wonder she didn’t want to leave the hired help alone.  If I lived there, though, I’d get around it by taking myself to another wing.
     
    Fenella was just getting out of her car as I pulled my drooling tongue back in.
     
    “Hey, Sweedie.  Will you look at this?  We’re certainly going up in the world aren’t we?  Josh would love it but I find it just a little too ostentatious.  Anyway, shall we?”  She teetered across the gravel drive in her baby blue heels while I tried not to clomp my way in the only boots that went with the jeans - but they’re lovely soft leather and the heel was still ‘this season’ when I last checked.
     
    Sharon (the Chair), or ‘Shaaaron’ as we were told it was pronounced (yeah I bet), was very welcoming and led us through the massive entrance hall, past endless rooms which seemed to have rooms leading off yet more rooms, through to the back of the house to a huge sunny conservatory overlooking a vast garden with, seemingly, also no end.
     
    We were offered Earl Grey tea or Elderflower but my poor toxic body was screaming for a shot of caffeine.  Had just opted for the Earl Grey when Fenella said,
     
    “Would it be terribly forward of me to ask if you have any coffee?  Just bog standard instant is great but I’m just gagging for a cup.”
     
    ‘Shaaaron’ made a huge show of, “How terribly rude you must think me.  Yes, yes of course, I’ll get Tuanang to get the cafetière out - I know we don’t keep instant.  Never think to offer it now as I haven’t touched a drop myself for years.”
     
    Felt like a big wuss as I sipped my Earl Grey, when all I craved was coffee but was too shy to ask.  Didn’t even know it was ‘the done thing to do’ - guess it’s a bit like ordering ‘off menu’.  Must make a note for next time.  “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly drink white wine.  Could I perhaps have a Bollinger?”
     
    Spent the next two hours going over our rep and Christmas Fair duties.  The repping should be easy peasy (organise a couple of coffee mornings and a class dinner) but the fair looks a mammoth task.
     
    “I can’t tell you how grateful I am to you both for taking this on.  It was beginning to look like it would fall to me this year and I really am so bogged down with my charity work now, I just didn’t feel up to it.  Once you’ve got all your outside traders booked up with your fancy goods - you know jewellery, candles, handbags etc - you’ve really only got to allocate each class an activity to run on the day and you’re away.  Anyway, I think you’ll find it’s all fairly self explanatory from the notes supplied by previous organisers.”
     
    She then gave us each four massive files and told us to give her a call if we had any queries.  Although Thursdays between 9 and 11 was really the only time she would be available as her schedule was “fiendishly tight” at the moment.
     
    Had a quick coffee in the park on the way home (I was spitting feathers for one by then) and noticed Fenella looked a little pale at the thought of the challenge ahead.
     
    “Oh boy, Libby.  What have I got us into?” she whimpered.  “I’m so sorry.  Do you absolutely hate me?”
     
    Have to say I felt really sorry for her and tried to be the up-beat one.
     
    “Of course not, Fenella.  I’m sure once we’ve been through our files it won’t be nearly as bad as it seems.  Let’s both go through them on our own tonight and then get together