Don't Close Your Eyes! by R.L. Stine Read Free Book Online

MCDONALD into the auditorium. We were the first class there, so she marched us to the front. I found myself sitting in the second row.
    A balding man with a bushy brown mustache sat on a folding chair onstage next to Mrs. Wright, our principal. The man wore a gray suit and a bright red necktie, which he kept nervously rolling and unrolling as he talked to Mrs. Wright.
    The other classes poured in and filled the auditorium. Kids were laughing and complaining about how boring the assembly was going to be.
    The Wilbur brothers sat on the other side of the aisle from me. They were already pretending to be asleep. They had their feet up on the seats in front of them and were snoring their heads off.
    I settled back in my chair. I felt my eyelids start to droop.
    “Don't go to sleep!”
Nicky and Tara both screamed in my ear.
    I jumped, blinking my eyes open.
    Mrs. Wright stood behind the podium. The microphone squealed and shrieked. It took a while to fix.
    “We have a very interesting guest today,” Mrs. Wright said, smiling at Mr. Rudolph. He fiddled with his necktie while the principal introduced him.
    “Let's give Mr. Rudolph a Jefferson School welcome!” Mrs. Wright said.
    Some kids clapped politely.
    Mr. Rudolph took the podium. He cleared his throat and started to speak in a high, soft voice. “I was fascinated by fire hydrants even when I was a kid,” he said. “I used to take pictures of them, and study them, and sit on them. And when I was
really
little, I used to talk to them.”
    I wasn't sure if that was a joke or not. But a lot of kids laughed.
    “Now I feel so lucky to be part of the fire hydrant family,” Mr. Rudolph said. “Perhaps you kids don't know this. But there are actually six different kinds of fire hydrants.”
    My eyes shut. Mr. Rudolph's voice faded into the distance.
    I guess I fell asleep.
    I woke up laughing. “Ha, ha! Ha! Ho!”
    Ow. A pain in my side. I turned to see Nicky and Tara tickling me.
    Mr. Rudolph peered down at me from the stage. “Something funny, young man?” he asked.
    I shook my head.
    He pointed to a slide on the screen and continued his talk. “Now, here is my favorite hydrant,” he said. “It's practical, it's long-lasting, and it's beautiful in an industrial sort of way. I like the curves of it, and …”
    His voice faded again. I fell asleep.
    “Yaii!
Ha ha hahaha!” I woke up. My ghost friends were tickling me again.
    Mr. Rudolph stopped speaking. He glared at me. “Do you find fire hydrants
funny?”
he asked. “I think they're very serious. Is there a joke I'm missing?”
    “Hahaha. No,” I said. “Stop tickling me! Ha ha ho ho ha!” I'm very ticklish.
    Mrs. Wright jumped up from her seat beside the podium. “Let's be polite, Max,” she scolded. “Mr. Rudolph has a lot to tell us.”
    “Fire hydrants can save your life,” Mr. Rudolph continued, his eyes on me.
    “You have to understand the whole system. And of course, you need to know about water pressure to understand the system. …”
    His voice faded. I drifted off to sleep again.
    “Hahaha ha ha!
Stop it!
Stop it!”
I cried, jumping to my feet.
    Nicky and Tara were tickling too hard.
    Kids laughed and hooted and pointed at me.
    Mrs. Wright leaped angrily to the podium. Herface burned bright red. “Max, I'll have to ask you to leave,” she snapped into the microphone.
    “Ha ha ha,”
I said. I couldn't stop.
    “Please apologize to our guest and leave the auditorium,” the principal said, waving toward the doors at the back. “I'll see you in my office after school.”
    “Sorry,” I muttered. Then I yawned. Really loudly.
    More laughing and hooting all around me. As I pushed my way to the aisle and started to make the long walk to the exit at the back, kids cheered and clapped.
    Not a great moment for Max Doyle. But I was too sleepy to even think about the trouble I was in.
    I pushed open the door and staggered into the hall. I could hear Mr. Rudolph droning on behind me.
    I yawned