Double Feature: Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies/Bride of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies (The Russel Middlebrook Series Book 3) by Brent Hartinger Read Free Book Online

houseflies to eat dog crap.
    I didn't say anything, so there was a silence. The purring of the electric clock sounded like someone clearing his throat, but in a way that never made it any better.
    "Why?" I said at last.
    "What?" Father Franklin said.
    "I'm sorry, but that just doesn't make any sense to me. Why would God treat gay and straight people so differently? It's not fair."
    "I know it seems that way. But God places limits on heterosexual people too."
    "Yes," I said, "but if straight people don't agree to those limits, you'll marry them anyway. And most Catholics don't agree with those limits." I knew this for a fact. I was no fool. Before coming here, I'd done my research.
    Father Franklin was back to shifting in his seat. "Russel, I'm not just making these things up, you know. There are traditions. These things come directly from Scripture."
    "There used to be a tradition to keep slaves," I said. "The Church used to say that came from Scripture too, until they decided they were wrong. Maybe you're wrong about this too. Back when the Bible was being written, no one had any idea what homosexuality was, just like they had no idea that the earth revolved around the sun."
    Father Franklin held up his hand. "I'm sorry, Russel, but sex between two men just isn't a part of God's plan."
    This annoyed me. "Who said anything about sex?" I said. "I never told you I was having sex. I never brought up sex at all. You did, twice now. I'm talking about love. And it seems weird to me that the Church would say that two people falling in love is, like, this big, horrible thing, all against God's plan. I just can't believe God would demand that all these people be miserable and alone their whole lives. Or that they marry someone they can't ever really love."
    To his credit, Father Franklin just listened. I think he knew I had a point. The air seemed to have cleared a little too. I think the housekeeper had opened a window somewhere.
    Father Franklin leaned forward in his chair. "Russel, I can tell you're very smart. So can I be frank?"
    "Yes," I said. "Be frank."
    "I know that human sexuality is a little more complicated than the Church sometimes admits in public. When it comes to sex, things aren't always black and white."
    Here we go, I thought. Back to sex again. And they say we gay people are obsessed with it?
    "What do you mean?" I asked.
    "Well, I wasn't born yesterday."
    I thought, Oh, God, now I have to hear about Father Franklin's "gay" phase again!
    "Yeah?" I said.
    "I know the Church can seem uncompromising," the priest said. "And out of touch. But the Church also says that ultimately we have to decide these things for ourselves. That they're a matter of personal conscience."
    "So you're saying that if I disagree with you, that's okay?"
    "I'm saying that none of this means there isn't still a place for you in the Catholic Church."
    Okay, so now I was thoroughly confused. What happened to Unchanging Truths? God's plan? And why hadn't he mentioned this right when I came in? Why did he bring it up only when he realized that I wasn't an intellectual pushover? Were the truths unchanging only for stupid people?
    "If the world isn't black and white," I said, "why does the Church talk like it is?"
    He thought for a second. "I think some people in the Church think that if we admit we could be wrong about any one thing, then some people will think we're wrong about everything . One of the things that people really like about the Catholic Church is the idea that it's solid. Ageless. Something to cling to in times of change."
    "So your stand on gays is really more of a PR decision?" I said.
    Father Franklin looked at me. Then he laughed out loud. This time, I hadn't meant to be telling a joke.
    "Father Franklin," I said, "now can I be frank with you?"
    He looked surprised, like a baby who had just touched a hot lightbulb. "Of course."
    "The Church teaches things," I said. "People like my parents hear those things, and they believe them.