Double Trouble by Erosa Knowles Read Free Book Online

her eyes dry, she wiped away a trail of water with her fingertip. “Yeah, I talked to their father each time, he said he would tell them I called and give them the message to call me back. I didn’t have the money to get back to Pennsylvania, and a condition of staying with my godmother was that I stop 'fornicating,'” she said, holding her fingers up in quotation marks. “Go to church, focus on me and my child. I had to sneak to make the calls when I did. Months before the boys were born they changed their number, and it was unlisted after that. I didn’t know their address or their parent’s names, so I couldn’t write.” She tried to smile and failed. “That’s my story of love and loss, damn it.” She sat up. “I didn’t come here to cry and be a Debbie Downer. I’m happy you are so in love you don’t want to share your man with anyone else. I say go for it, do it your way and all that jazz.”
    Pam wiped a tear from her eyes, and pulled Belinda close. The gesture warmed Belinda to her toes. She had never been able to really discuss her feelings over Donnie and Blaine’s rejection. It had been too painful, it cut too deep. Plus, there hadn’t been any sympathetic ears in Georgia or anywhere else. The few girlfriends she had in high school were getting ready for college. She had been too ashamed of how her mom and the twins responded to her situation to tell anyone back home about her predicament, so she shut down all communications.
    If there was a penalty for loving two brothers, Belinda believed she had paid it in full. Not only had she lost her heart, but she didn’t have time to grieve the death of that relationship. From the moment her godmother allowed her to stay, she had been slammed into another world of religious fanaticism. Church three days a week and Sundays. She became her godmother’s chauffeur until she was too big to get behind the wheel. The day she settled in her godmother’s home was the last day the older woman cooked or cleaned. It was no wonder her two godsisters visited just once a year, and that was Thanksgiving. They sympathized with her plight but told her flat out they had no desire to spend more time with their aging parent.
    “I know it hurts and it’s been years. Last time we talked you told me you were finally dating again, does that help in any way?” Pam asked, still holding her hand.
    She nodded slowly, as her thoughts turned to her new lover. “Robert is nice. He’s older, much older, and has little patience for my boys. So you know that relationship isn’t long term or serious. He’s a nice sexual diversion every once in a while. I am not interested in anything serious right now with my dad being so sick.”
    Pam sat back and held her hand. “You’ve been through what every person in a relationship dreads, hurt and betrayal. You, Belinda Moore, are a tough as nails survivor, and I’m damn glad you’re here. I value your friendship and need a second pair of eyes on my back.” She grinned at Belinda, who was glad to be off the subject of her former lovers.
    “Ms. Pam, your other guests just cleared the gate and will be here in a few minutes,” Brooks said from the entry.
    “Thanks.” Pam glanced at her as she stood. “How do I look? Do I need to fix my face?” she asked, walking over to a nearby mirror on the wall.
    Belinda joined her. “You look great…like a woman in love. Hang onto to him and what you have with everything you’ve got. If he put that look in your eyes, he’s worth it.”
    Pam stared at her for a moment and stumped her foot. “See now you got me crying again and I need to be dry-eyed and clear-headed. I don’t know these women.”
    Belinda chuckled as she checked her face. It was fine. “Don’t worry. First off, this is your home. That means you set the tone. Second, I got your back. I’ll block the arrows and make sure you know where they came from. I’m used to your hard core, fix it now, attitude. If the people of Flint