Douglass’ Women by Jewell Parker Rhodes Read Free Book Online

up. I’d plenty love.
    Sometimes, Freddy looked at me with wonder. He still didn’t quite know me. Except for escape talk, we said little. But we did much and what we did was glorious.
    I wasn’t coy, simpering like Miz Baldwin. I gave back kiss for kiss. Stroke for stroke. I was shameless. But for Freddy, I was willing to be.
    He pulled back, looked at the stars. He was standing like a statue again, looking out beyond the horizon. Wind lifted his hair a bit. He swallowed. Then he say,
    “Master Auld threatened to return me to Talbot County. He says my independence in the city is too much. I’m becoming too full of myself, earning wages.”
    I wanted Freddy to look at me. Master Auld didn’t matter.
    “I think I should escape immediately. Tomorrow.” My breath came fast. I was scared but said, “I can be ready.”
    He turned, looked at me over his shoulder. “It would be safer if I left alone. Once in New York, once safe, I can send for you.”
    I slid down the tree, just crumpled on the earth’s ground.
    “I should leave without delay.”
    “Without delay,” I repeated, numb.
    Looking up at him, looking down on me, I pleaded. “Please don’t leave me.”
    He stooped, his hands cupping my knees.
    Thinking my dreams at an end, I cried, “Please.”
    “I have no way of predicting the future,” he said softly. “But I do know, any day, Master Auld will send me back to the Great House. If I’m to have a chance at freedom, the time is now.”
    “You said we’d visit Mam.”
    “There’s no time.”
    “Mam must give her blessing.”
    “No time. Only time enough for me to escort you home. For you to give me the seaman clothes. The ship’s passage and funds. I must leave tomorrow. My motto must be: ‘Trust No One.’ Until I’m safe.”
    I heard the sense in what he said, still I thought he was hard. A handsome man but hard.
    “Why you can’t take me?”
    He gripped my shoulders. “I want to. But two leaving together is doubly unsafe. Someone will connect us two. We’d both be hunted down.”
    “Why didn’t you say so before?”
    “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
    “Or keep me from helping you.” I regretted the words soon as I’d said them. Freddy stiffened, wrinkled his face.
    He stood. “Believe what you like.”
    “Please.” Folks were singing again, this time about“Johnny Shake Corn.” “I don’t want to fight. ’Specially if I might not see you again.”
    “You’ll see me. I’ll send for you.”
    “Will you?” I couldn’t help my bitterness.
    Once free, he had no reason to keep me. No reason at all. Lots of pretty women would be glad to marry him. Now he was asking me to let him go. To trust him when he hadn’t trusted me.
    I understood his need for freedom. But I needed the whole truth. Not pieces like you’d give a child. Maybe being a man, being a slave, Freddy didn’t understand that. Or, maybe, he be lying.
    The moon was just above his head. His hands were clasped behind his back. He was a proud man. He could go off and leave me without saying a word.
    Maybe this was my test. Letting him go, I’d prove my trust.
    I’d let him go ’cause it was best. Best for him. Worse for me.
Ain’t that love?
    I stood, threw my arms about him. It didn’t matter if he didn’t meet Mam, didn’t matter if he left ahead of me. Nothing mattered but him loving me—here and now. I held on, pressing close. I felt his resistance, the tightness in his body. I kissed him, kissed him hard, tender, quick, long and deep. I kept on ’til I felt his body responding, felt his desire. Then, I felt happy again.
    I stepped aside, letting both our bodies cool down. It wouldn’t do to have the Preacher or anyone else find us. But I kept a secret smile, ’cause I believed tonight, when he walked me home, he’d take my hand, lead me into my room and love me good, before saying “bye.”
    This last night we’d make a memory to keep me warm,’til he say, “Anna, come,” and I’d fly up