Dream a Little Dream by Joan Jonker Read Free Book Online

have tolerated, if we had remained friends. But we are not even that, Edie, and I’d like to know why? There are times when I think you actually hate me, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’m the one who supplies the money to enable you to have the lifestyle you revel in, you wouldn’t care if you never saw me again.’
    Edwina closed the book and put it on the bedside table. ‘Now who is the one being dramatic. Of course I don’t hate you, Robert, you are being childish.’
    ‘What are your feelings for me, then?’
    Edwina looked down at her clasped hands. ‘You are my husband.’
    ‘In name only, Edie.’ He could see anger flare in his wife’s eyes. ‘That was your name when I met you, so why are you ashamed of it now?’
    ‘Because it’s all in the past and I don’t want to live in the past.’
    ‘Is that why you never visit your old friends and neighbours, because they wouldn’t fit in with your new life?’ Robert knew what he was going to say would hurt her, but it was something he should have said years ago. ‘Even your own mother and father? Are you really so ashamed of them?’
    Edwina’s face drained of colour. ‘Why are you doing this to me? It will serve no purpose to go over all this again. We have a good life – why can’t you leave things be? Anyway, my mother and father are probably dead by now.’
    Robert shook his head sadly. ‘I daresay you would like them to be, to ease your conscience, but I can assure you they are very much alive. I visit them once a month, as I do all my old friends. I take them a food hamper from Coopers and make sure they don’t go short of coal in the cold weather.’ His sadness now turned to anger. How could this woman erase everything from her mind, even her elderly parents, and live with herself? Never once, in the last seventeen years, had she been to see them or mentioned their names. ‘I blame myself for allowing you to forget your duties. I should have insisted you keep in contact with your parents, even carrying you there if that was the only way to get you to visit them.’ He took a deep breath and blew the air out slowly. ‘You’ve told the children that they’re dead, haven’t you?’
    His wife couldn’t meet his eyes. ‘I thought they would be.’
    ‘Thought or hoped? Didn’t you once acknowledge to yourself that every child has a right to know and love their grandparents, and the grandparents have the right to know their grandchildren? Especially as you were their only child, and when you deserted them they had no one. And the sickening thing is, they ask about you and the children every time I visit them. I used to make excuses for you at first, believing you would come to your senses eventually. But you can only make excuses for so long and expect them to be believed. I don’t like telling lies, and apparently I’m not very good at it. Because one day your mother took my hand and said, “It’s all right, Bob, you don’t have to lie to me and Joe. We’re just glad you come to see us, and very grateful”. Two lonely old people, Edie, who at best only have a few more years left to them. If you can live with yourself, knowing that, then the heart that beats inside of you is a heart of stone. My feelings for you, right now, are of sadness, pity and disgust.’
    ‘I don’t know what you had hoped to gain by raking all this up, but if you have finished castigating me, I would like to go to sleep. It’s been a very trying day.’
    ‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to force yourself to stay awake a little longer, because I still have much to say.’ Robert couldn’t remember being as angry as he was now. ‘I am the provider and master of this house and I intend taking more of an interest in what happens. There will be some changes, I can assure you. I have two children who are so idle they don’t make any contribution to either this house, or to society as a whole. They take everything for granted and expect to be waited