Dream & Dare by Susan Fanetti Read Free Book Online Page A

wantin’ ‘em to notice me. They liked girly girls. So I started likin’ pink and wearin’ pretty clothes. My mama and daddy liked it better when I ‘acted like a lady,’ too. It made me feel good that I was doin’ what people wanted. It made me feel funny, too, but I never could understand what that funny feelin’ was, so I ignored it. Then I came out to California with Joel”—she tapped the photo, and before she could continue, Faith cut in.
     
    “Wait. Are you saying you got to California because you followed a boy? You?”
     
    Again, Bibi shrugged. “Like I said, honey. I changed. A lot. The girl who left Natchez was just a girl. In love with a boy, and couldn’t see anythin’ but him out in front of her.”
     
    “What happened with Joel?”
     
    “Exactly what you’d expect. Didn’t work out. The girls in California turned his head, and then I was just the same ol’ Bibi he’d known his whole life and been with since the ninth grade. That’s how I ended up meetin’ my friend Gina, and she was a punk, so I picked up her flavor.”
     
    “And Hooj?”
     
    “Like you see there, I met him in those days, and I fell for him the first night I met him. I don’t know if it was love at first sight, but it was close. When people talk about that, I know it’s real, because there ain’t been a day since that I haven’t loved that man with all I have. Even when I wanted to kill him in his sleep.”
     
    “Did you pick up his flavor, too?”
     
    “You know, I don’t know. I guess I wanted to. He didn’t much like when I made myself up like that”—she tapped the photo from the old apartment, and though she’d dressed that night for the club in the clothes she liked, fishnets and boots, a fake leather corset over a tattered tee, her hair was soft and her makeup lighter than she’d worn before Hoosier—“and I started doin’ things different right away ‘cuz of that. I was so young. So much younger than him, and I guess I had a little hero-worship thing goin’, even though I acted belligerent half the time. I thought of myself as ‘feisty.’ But the God’s truth is, he wouldn’t let me. He made me figure out what I wanted for me.”
     
    “He’s only eleven years older, right? Not that much.”
     
    “Now, those years are nothin’, but I was twenty when we met. You know it’s different when you’re young. Even five years can be a big gap.” She eyed Faith pointedly. Faith and Demon had five years between them, and when they’d first met, those five years had been insurmountable. “Back then, those eleven years were like an ocean of experience and life he’d had that I knew nothin’ about. I didn’t even know what it was that kutte he wore meant, but I knew he knew so much more about everythin’ than I did, and I knew there was somethin’ dark about him. He intimidated me, truth be told.”
     
    “Was he harsh to you?” Faith’s brow creased with concern.
     
    “God, no. But he was…firm, I suppose. Instead of tryin’ to make me do what he wanted, though, he made me do what I wanted. And you know, I’d never thought about that. Not really ever. I grew up thinkin’ I’d get married and have babies. Women’s lib wasn’t somethin’ that ever made it to my neck of the woods, so it never occurred to me that I’d do anythin’ else. Even when I was livin’ with Gina, I was just livin’. Not thinkin’ about anythin’ but payin’ the bills, havin’ a good time when I could. I never had a dream of my own. Like I said, I was a mushroom.” She smiled. “But Hooj can’t stand mushrooms.”
     
     
    ~oOo~
     
     
    Hoosier smiled when he saw her the next day. For the first time in more than a week. Bibi had to stand in the doorway and collect herself for a moment, because relief and love hit her so hard it almost knocked her down.
     
    “Hey, Biker Boy.” She came to his bed and kissed his forehead. Cool. No fever. She sniffed away her tears and kissed his mouth,